Exercise

Yesterday was gorgeous, so I went outside for a walk. I've gotten a few half hour walks with Jeff, but nothing near the hour I'd regularly do last summer, so I decided to step it up just a little bit. I added a couple extra blocks, which took my time from 29 minutes to 37 minutes. Not a lot, but I did feel the difference.

An hour later, Jeff got home, very stressed about work. Dinner was just about ready, and he said, "Do you mind . . ." At this point I was steeling myself to hear, "get takeout," but he finished with, "go for a walk." I paused for a second to turn the burners off the stove, slap some lids on, get the fish in the refrigerator, and get my shoes & coat. I knew the broccoli would be oversteamed, but it was a small price to pay. We did the basic half hour, and I had to jog a little to keep up with him, but it was a good walk.

I'm hoping to go out again this afternoon. It's windy but warm, so I'll make sure I have a hat. I also tried a plank for the first time today. I was relieved that I could actually do one, but I only held it for about 30 seconds. I also did ten pitiful girly pushups and 20 barely sit ups. I'm going to start trying to incorporate more strength training. I was watching Our Big Fat Weight Loss Story, and realized that if my family were to do that fitness test, I would definitely slow everyone down. I can't do squats or lunges, and I'm weak in general. I'm starting to get to the point where I care less about being skinnier and really want to be stronger. I need to form a plan and start keeping track of what I'm doing.

Song I don't yet have on my iPod but really want: Kelly Clarkson's Stronger. There's a girl at our church about Lauren's age who says that when she gets married, that's going to be the song playing when she walks down the aisle. Can't wait for that wedding!

Week 10

Down 3.6 this week, to 213.8. That's officially overweight, yay!

I had my follow up doctor's visit today. Predictably, the lumpy gland is still lumpy, so she wants a CAT scan. She reassured me that it was just a precaution, which I understand. It's just a pain to schedule. She was thrilled with my blood pressure, which was 110 over 66.  I joked that Jeff would tell me to eat something salty now, and she got seriously alarmed. "What? No! Why would you do that?  This is great where it is!" I reassured her that it was just a running joke with us. Jeff cracked up when I told him about it.

Plan for this week is to step up the walking--the 5K is this Sunday, and assuming I can scrounge up the necessary $30, I'm in. But I've only been walking about half an hour at a time, and this will take at least twice that. The friend that I'm going with usually walks about an hour a day, and I don't want to slow her down.

Recipe Review: Chocolate Almond Meringues

Originally from Ellie Krieger, but (all together now!) "I tweaked it." I didn't have almond extract, so I used vanilla. And I like dark chocolate much better than semisweet, so I used two of the little 70% bars I get from Aldi (almost two ounces). I also didn't have cream of tartar, so I just left it out. I didn't bother to blend the sugar down to superfine, either. The eggs were the only thing I didn't alter.

I'm so glad I have a stand mixer, because it made the whole process a breeze. Separate three eggs, putting the whites into the mixer, and beat on medium. Once the egg whites get foamy, add a teaspoon of vanilla and a third of a cup of sugar (slowly), and keep beating to soft peaks. Finely chop the chocolate, then add it in and keep mixing like crazy to stiff peaks. No, I didn't take the time to fold in ever so carefully. I thought about just spooning mounds onto the parchment paper, but did use a sandwich bag to pipe them out.

The piping went ok, but my technique needs work. They came out looking a little . . . um . . . scatological, if you know what I mean. . I got 33 out of the recipe instead of 20, but they're pretty small. I could have made them bigger, but I really like the smaller size.

The verdict?  SOOOOO GOOD. I'm bringing these to potlucks from now on. The bits of chocolate (which sometimes got stuck in the piping bag) are wonderful. The crispy edges are my favorite part, but the chewy centers are good, too. Next time I'm at Meijer, I'm going to get some coconut extract and a lime, and zest the lime into the sugar. Mmm, tropical!

Since I got 33 cookies out of this (they're not all the same size, so these numbers are just an average), they're each 19 calories, 2 carbs, 1 gram of fat, and 1 gram of protein. I've already eaten five. 

A Day of Rest

Well . . . kind of.

Monday was a very busy day. We left the house at 9:30, ran an errand for my Dad, had annual checkups for both girls, dropped off Girl Scout cookies to my sister, visited my Dad and looked through a mountain of old pictures, went to Lego Robotics, and then got home by 6:30. Schoolwork was light that day. We had tomato soup (made early that morning and reheated when we got home) and grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner.No exercise.

Yesterday was a busy day. Schoolwork in the morning, then I took Lauren and a friend to another friend's house to work on Girl Scout stuff. I stopped to get groceries on the way home, had lunch & did more schoolwork with Sarah. Then we picked up Lauren & the friend and went back to the friend's house to ooh and aah over her new baby sister. Then we picked up a friend from Sarah's Girl Scout troop and her mom and went down to the library so the girls could go camping with the troop. Dropped friend's mom back at her house, then came home to finish schoolwork with Lauren. Pot roast for dinner. I had potatoes, rutabaga, onions & carrots in with it, but I also baked some sweet potatoes and roasted a little cauliflower. We have lots of leftovers in the refrigerator today. Exercise was a half hour of Free Step on the Wii after dinner.

Today, I don't have to leave the house, at least until after dinner, when we'll head out to Lent service at church. There's still a lot to do, of course. Two of Lauren's friends are coming over to hang out and work on writing their plays. I'm sure they'll also get some time in on the Wii and in the basement. Schoolwork for Lauren before & after that. I want to roast some almonds, and--as long as I've got the oven heated up--make granola and meringues. I also have to make a bunch of phone calls, and get some exercise. Dinner will be beef and noodles, left over from last night, although I'll probably have beef & barley myself.

Guess I'd better go get dressed!

Week 9

Up a pound and a half this week--no surprise, since I partook in a fabulous fish fry yesterday. The happier news is that I've flirted with "Overweight" instead of "Obese" three times last week. I'm hoping it will stick around this week.

I'm also hoping for more exercise this coming week. I did 30 minutes of Free Step on the Wii today, and then got a half hour walk around the neighborhood with Jeff. The weather is supposed to be moderate this week, and snow isn't forecast for several days, so I'm going to try getting out walking more frequently. It was 34 degrees when we went today, so any temp above freezing is obviously doable for me.

Looking forward to a better result next week!

Recipe Review: Pasties

I make pasties a few times a year. They're not hard, but are rather labor intensive, so it's something I make to stash in the freezer. A friend wanted to come and make some with me, but our schedules don't mesh very well, so I decided to do a Pioneer Woman style post, with as many pictures as I could. I got the original recipe concept here, but of course have tweaked it.

First, the crust. I use a standard pie crust recipe of 3 cups flour, 1 teaspoon salt, 1 cup shortening, and about a cup of water. Mix the salt & flour together, and cut in the shortening. Add the water a bit at a time. You might need more or less depending on the day. If you add too much, you can add more flour later. My dough was a little wet, and I had to use a fair bit of flour when rolling it out. Once the dough is all mixed, stash it in the refrigerator while you make the filling. You can use any crust recipe you like, or even buy premade from the store, but crust is easy and cheap to make yourself.

I like to use a pound of ground beef and half a pound of ground pork for my filling, but I've also used all beef in the past, and it's still good. Since ground pork generally comes in one pound packages, I use the other half pound for Szechuan Pork & Green Beans. You also need potato, carrot, onion, and rutabaga. I started with a half cup of each, diced pretty small, but had a lot of veg left at the end, so for official purposes, I'd just use 1/3 cup of each. A good pinch of salt, few grinds of black pepper, and a couple dashes of Worcestershire sauce for seasoning.

A note about rutabaga--it's a classic ingredient in pasties, but can be hard to find. It's also pretty annoying to deal with. You only need a small amount, so feel free to leave it out. If you are going to use it, the leftovers can be mixed in with mashed potatoes, or added to soup. I only used less than a fourth of mine. You need to cut slices, then cut the skin off, then chop up pretty small.

Once all the vegetables are diced, mix them with the meat & seasonings. Stash that bowl in the refrigerator, covered, while you roll out the dough. Be sure to use enough flour so that the dough doesn't stick to the board. I used a 3 1/2 inch cutter, which is a really nice size. In the past, I've used a small plate to cut circles and folded them in half over the filling, but I like this way much better. Once you have a bunch of circles cut out, put a scant quarter cup of filling on half of them. Use the remaining circles to cover the filling. Since the filling is mounded up, bring the bottom edge up to meet the top and pinch together.

Once they're all made, brush with beaten egg and bake at 350 degrees for about 45 minutes, until golden brown. In the past, the pasties I've made have been yummy but not much to look at. These look almost professional!  Jeff commented that they look like little bundles of goodness. 

I got 21 pasties out of this batch--more than I expected!  Another bonus of making them so small. Just out of curiosity, I put the ingredients into MFP's recipe tool to see what the stats were (since I had a fair bit of crust left over--another first!--I adjusted the measurements a bit). For each: 207 calories, 14 carbs, 12 g fat, 9 g protein, 1 g fiber. That's a lot of fat, but the overall calories are considerably lower than I anticipated.

Recipe Review: Salmon Two Ways

I'd like us to eat more salmon. Lean protein, omega-3 fats, etc. But it's expensive, and not a family favorite. I got a slab of frozen salmon on sale last week and cooked it up last night. Again, I'm sad to report that this is NOT the dish that will convert us to fish lovers.

I used the Honey Mustard glaze recipe from Cook This, Not That (which also had a bit of butter, brown sugar, and soy sauce) on half and a store bought Asian Orange Ginger glaze for the other half. There were problems right off the bat. First, it wasn't fully thawed from being in the refrigerator overnight, so I did a speed thaw under cold running water. That works fine for thin tilapia fillets, but it wasn't so great for this.

The recipe called for roasting at 425 for about 10 minutes. I know from watching Top Chef that if the white protein comes out of the fish, you've overcooked it. Well, that started happening with mine before it was even done cooking. It looked very unappetizing, as you can see from the picture.

The taste was ok. Lauren did like it, but didn't have seconds. I liked it, and will have the leftovers cold on a green salad today. I thought the honey mustard was good, so I'll make a dressing of that to go over the top (equal parts of each), along with the greens, tomatoes, and red onion.

The search for the elusive "yummy fish recipe that the whole family likes" continues. I haven't given up, but I don't have anything in mind for my next try, either.

Week 8

Ha. So there. Down to 215.8, which is over five pounds down from last week, and half a pound less than my previous lowest. I stayed on track this week, even yesterday when we had ribs for Jeff's birthday dinner. I did half an hour of Wii Free Step every day except Friday, when there was no time in the day.

I'm going to keep with this plan for another week. I don't expect a big loss this week, because I don't have a big gain to bounce back from. Yeah, I'm OK with that.

Challenges for this week: I'm working less (only one day), but Sarah's chosen Chinese food as her birthday dinner. Instead of me picking my own entree, I'm going to have a little of whatever everyone else gets (there's always plenty), and some wonton soup. I think I'll make some brown rice to go on the side instead of the plain white rice the restaurant provides. I might even have a potsticker, depending on how the day has gone.

For exercise, I'm going to keep doing my daily half hour of Free Step. For recipes, I want to try recipes for salmon and meringues (no, not together).

The Doc

I finally had my doctor's appointment today. Weigh in was 220. Not where I wanted to be, but it's where I am. Doc is happy with my progress, wanted to know how I was doing it, if it was healthy. I assured her that I was counting calories, etc.

The only issue was that one of the glands under my chin was a little swollen. I can't specifically remember being sick recently, so she wants to see me back in two and a half weeks to check it again. If it's still swollen, she's going to send me to an ENT to check it out.

"What would they do?" "Probably a CAT scan or a biopsy." Urrrrrrrrrrrrgh. Anyone who knows me knows that more doctor visits is the absolute last thing I want. Yes, we need to be sure everything is OK. But right now my main goal is to boost my immune system as much as I can.

Off the top of my head, that means:

• elderberry syrup
• chicken broth (got some brewing in the crockpot right now)
• garlic
• ginger
• my standard vitamins 

We'll see how it goes. 

Recipe Review: Lighter Brownies

The Cooking Channel has a new healthy living show out called Good Housekeeping Drop 5 Pounds. I watched the first episode, didn't hate it, and set the DVR to record it. It's got cooking, exercise & general healthy living tips, from a few different hosts. The recipes are generally the kinds I like--easy and healthy, without many Franken-food ingredients (Hungry Girl, I'm looking at you!).

The Lighter Brownie recipe looked especially good, so I copied it and tried it yesterday.

Holy cow, I need to buy more cocoa powder. They were really good. I did change things a little bit, but only out of necessity. I don't have "trans fat free vegetable oil spread," but I do have butter, so I used that. And I (sadly) don't have an 8x8 baking pan, so I used my old 7x9 pan. I also cut them in 12 instead of 16. So the calories are a little higher than the 95 listed on the website. Mine came out to 129. Yes, that's about a third higher, but it's still pretty good for a brownie.

Now, these are not massive, thick cakey brownies. These are fairly thin, chewy, fudgy brownies with pretty intense flavor. There was barely enough cocoa powder in the can, so I added the last of it, and it might have been just a hair too much. But they're goooooooooooood. They definitely have that "oomph" that I'm looking for, the "I'm done" signal.

I looked in my Cook's Illustrated Best Light Recipe as well, and there is also a brownie recipe there, for 130 calories. I'm wondering how it'll stack up, so I might give that a try as well in the future. But for now, this recipe is my go-to for brownies, and I'll be making it frequently.

Digging Down

I didn't weigh in all last week. I figured, "I'm doing this for health, and I know how to be healthy, so I'm going to do the right thing. The number on the scale isn't the point. And I'm trying to slow down my rate anyway." I got on the scale Saturday, expecting at least a pound or two down, because I really did stay on track last week. When I saw that I was down not even half a pound, I was disappointed.

Yes, I know. The number on the scale isn't the point. Uh huh. Still disappointed. I ended up eating way too much that day, all day long. I actually felt physically ill. Who does that to themselves?  I don't get it.

So Sunday I was back up at 221. Not surprising. But still frustrating. This is about the same point I've gotten to before, and then lost my drive. I don't want to do that anymore. I don't like being that person who eats mindlessly.

So this morning, I'm digging down and seeing what I can do. I'm rededicating myself. I realized that all this talk about a gym and a treadmill and walking outside and how I can't do it is really dumb, because I have this thing called a Wii. That's right, the thing I used all last spring before I could start walking. The thing that may not be the best, but is a whole lot better than the alternative, which is nothing.

Plan for this week:  stay on track with the eating, of course, but also do half an hour of Free Step on the Wii every day. I've already done it today, and although it wasn't a big hard workout, it was a reminder of being mindful. Mindfulness and dedication are what I've been lacking recently, so that's where I'm going to focus.

Recipe Review: Egg Rolls

When I make stir fry, which is fairly often, I always have egg rolls for the family. I get the pork ones from Aldi, which are $2.50 for a package of four. They're 170 calories each, so I usually skip them.

I saw that 400 Calories had a Vegetable Egg Roll recipe up that looked good and was 162 calories for two, so I decided to try it. It turned out pretty well (the filling was great, and I'm going to start buying more cabbage), except for the cooking. I decided to pan fry with cooking spray  instead of bake, because I'm always looking for things to be as crispy as possible. The problem was getting even browning on all sides. It just didn't happen. They were still tasty--in fact, mine didn't even make it to the table, because I ate them up while I was cooking the rest of dinner! I shallow fried the ones for everyone else, and had the same issue.

The next day, I decided to try again, this time baking in the oven. I also added a little shrimp to the filling to make it a more complete meal instead of a side dish. Again, tasty. But again, not the texture I wanted.  Baking made the edges a little tough.

I do think that deep frying is the way to go on something like this. You get more even coverage, and if the oil is hot enough and you take it out at the right time, the food doesn't get greasy.

Deep frying is something I don't do often, merely because of the large volume of grease necessary that you then have to dispose of. And I certainly won't do it every time we have Chinese for dinner. But as a special treat, I'll certainly make these again.

Recipe Review: Elvis Cookies

I've seen several recipes floating around lately for cookies made primarily from fruit & oats. They're very versatile--you can really make them your own, as long as you start with those two ingredients.. I tried one with banana as the fruit, with cocoa powder & raisins, but the taste of the banana was still pretty strong.

So I thought, "If the banana is going to dominate, find something else that will really work with it, like peanut butter." And what else would you call a peanut butter & banana cookie but an Elvis Cookie, really?

I started by mashing up a banana and adding two tablespoons of natural peanut butter, an ounce of milk, half a teaspoon of vanilla, two tablespoons of brown sugar, and a few shakes of cinnamon.  I added a heaping half cup of oatmeal (I started with a level half cup, but it was too soupy) and mixed it all up. I used my mini scoop to portion them out, and got 14 out of the batch. Bake at 350 for about 15 minutes, but they stay pretty chewy, even the next day. (the picture shows them on the Silpat, after I'd moved them a little so they wouldn't stick)

Per cookie: 41 calories, 6 carbs, 2 g fat, 1 g protein, 1 g fiber.

They turned out pretty well. Sarah liked them, Lauren didn't. I liked them, but realized I kept going back to eat more. When I have a couple Hershey's Dark Kisses after lunch, I'm done.  I had four of these and still kept wandering around the kitchen with the munchies.

Will I make them again? Yes, certainly, but I'll keep tweaking them. I think it's a good start for a "breakfast cookie," which is kind of the Holy Grail for me. I might try applesauce instead of the banana (Lauren will like that better), but then I'd cut the milk to keep the moisture balance. And I might blitz some of the oatmeal in the food processor to get a different texture/consistency. Adding dried fruit, chopped nuts, or even chocolate is another option. All that would up the calories, but if I want something more substantial, that isn't a bad thing.

Recipe Review: Curry with Cauliflower & Butternut Squash

I got two Cook This, Not That! cookbooks for Christmas, and there are so many recipes in there I want to try. It's really hard to decide where to start. I also like doing vegetarian meals occasionally, though I've yet to find one everyone really likes.

Last week, I decided to give Curry with Cauliflower & Butternut Squash a try. I make a pork & fruit curry dish that everyone likes quite a bit, but it's fairly sweet, between the apples, pineapple & bananas. Also, serve it with spaetzle, which the family can't get enough of.

Unfortunately, I can't say the same for this dish. Even I didn't like it all that much. Yes, there was coconut milk, but it didn't add a lot of flavor. The tomatoes didn't seem to "go" and although I liked the vegetables, the whole thing just wasn't doing it for me. It didn't make tons, so everyone had a little (Jeff had two pasties later that night), and I had the leftovers the next day for lunch.

I think that flavor combination just isn't going to work for us--I deleted a bunch of similar recipes from my "want to try" list.

Coming soon: my egg roll experiment, and Elvis Cookies.

Week 6

Up 2.2 pounds this week. I really feel like I need to get beyond the 210 mark to feel like I've kicked this to the curb. That's going to take a while, but that's ok. I'm leaving my calories at 1400 for the week. The number of calories I shoot for isn't the issue--it's when I go way over that number!

Groceries

I was talking with a friend the other day about coupons. Ive never gotten much into coupons--they just don't fit how I shop. I tend to get basics at Aldi, which doesn't accept coupons, and produce at Randazzo's. Yes, I get meat and other "special" things at Meijer (brand name things and ethnic stuff, mostly), and coupons would work there. But catching a sale on something you have a coupon for seems to me like making an extra trip. Also, when I see coupons, they mostly seem to be for packaged stuff which I don't usually get anyway.

But I was curious. I have in the back of my head that I generally spend between $50 and $100 per week on groceries. I checked the bank records and found that in January, I spent $212 on groceries. That sounds impressive until you realize two things:

1. I already had a lot of meat in the freezer.
2. Our "dining out" totals for January were about the same amount

Oy. Now, a lot of that can be laid at the door of drive through food for breakfast & lunch for Jeff, and I've asked him what I can do to help him reduce that number. He's got oatmeal at work that he can make for breakfast, and he's always good about taking leftovers for lunch. The issue is when there are no leftovers.  So I need to stay more on top of making sure he has a lunch.

I don't like to send packaged food with him, mostly because of the sodium. Also, those things tend to be pricey for the amount of food you get. It's still cheaper and healthier than a Wendy's double cheeseburger & fries, though, so maybe I should rethink that as a backup.

I went shopping today, stopping at Kroger so I could get pot roast. I also picked up a slab or salmon for $8--we'll see how that goes. The kids haven't cared for salmon in the past, but I want to give it another try. If they don't like it, I'll just have leftovers for lunch all week, which won't bother me a bit. Total spent:  $18

Then I stopped at Aldi to stock up. We were out of milk and eggs, almost out of cereal, etc. I also got a few "splurge" items, like French Bread Pizza and Pringles. Add to that bratwurst for Superbowl Sunday and Italian sausage for spaghetti and then minestrone soup, and cheese & crackers and peanuts for snacking. Total spent: $58

Last stop at Randazzo's to get kale (which they didn't have!) and apples. They also had a great deal on red & yellow peppers, so I got a couple of those. A can of chickpeas (minestrone soup) and some green beans finished it up. Total spent: $5

So that's $80 in groceries so far this month. I'm going to keep a close eye on things and see if I can keep the "dining" part of the bill lower. Dinners planned for this week include spaghetti, homemade pizza, minestrone soup, pot roast, and Curry Cauliflower & Butternut Squash (review coming soon).

365 Days

This morning I weighed 218.7 pounds.  That is 37% less than I weighed this day last year. Tonight, I am celebrating my one year anniversary of better living with a Coney Dog and french fries.

Part of me thinks, "You can't have a Coney!  You just binged yesterday!  You weigh the exact same you did a month ago!  You haven't earned that Coney!"

Shut up, voice. I have made many good decisions this year. I've made plenty of bad ones, too. This is a celebration of time spent, not a number on the scale. Time spent is what I really need, in fact. In the past, I've never been able to sustain loss.  I need to remember to keep working, keep moving forward.

Oh and the fact that I'm having a Coney and half an order of fries is miles ahead of the patty melt and full order that I would have gotten last year. It fits in my calorie goal for the day, and I'm going to enjoy every bite. So there.

January Review

At my official weigh in this morning (not tomorrow, duh), I'm down 2.9 pounds since the 1st. Since I had a huge upswing in the middle of the month, coming out down almost three pounds isn't bad. But it is a lot less than in previous months, which leads me to think more about this whole "slowing down" business.

I tend to be an "all or nothing" kind of gal. When it comes to weight loss, in the past I've either been "Full Speed Ahead" or "Full Reverse." Yes, the FSA path can include little splurges, but even if I get off track, I get back on again. The FR path, however, is just that. Frequent binges, and just not caring about what I'm eating. It's the not caring part that really characterizes FR.

What I need to find is the "Mindfully Moderate" path. This is the path that lets me consistently eat 1500 calories a day without going crazy over or under. The MM path is ok with losing only half a pound a week, which is kind of counter to where I've been for the past year.

For the past year, I've been so far in the groove, that I can only think about what maintenance will mean in a very abstract way. For me, it's been either losing or gaining. There is no in between. The MM path, the in between, is totally uncharted territory for me. I'm going to need  a machete to hack my way through all this. Wish me luck!

Week #5

Somehow, I managed to lose another 1.3 pounds this week. Considering how I ate both Sunday and Tuesday, that's a gift. But really, between 1 and 1.5 pounds lost per week has been my new goal. So I'm right on track. Kind of. Except for the binge eating.  That's not really part of the plan, even when I do manage to wrangle it back down to the ground again.

I'm going to leave my calorie goal at 1350 for another week. I know I want to start slowly bumping it up, and I don't mind if I go a little over, as long as it's with healthy choices.

My next official weigh ins are Wednesday (to get my total for the month) and Friday--my one year anniversary of being healthier. I know that no matter what the numbers are, I'm in a much better place than I was in the past, and that's what counts.

Recipe Review: Chicken Soup & Dumplings

Al of us have been hit with winter colds lately. Even Sarah, who is normally the healthiest of us, is miserable. No fever, just a drippy nose & the sore throat that comes with it, and really tired.

My first line of defense is always food. I go through tons of ginger, honey & citrus in tea. I put enough garlic in chicken broth to make our whole house repel vampires. And I've lately become a big fan of elderberry syrup.

Yesterday, we saw an episode of Mad Hungry that had Lucinda making chicken & dumplings. I'm really enjoying that show--she doesn't cook über healthy stuff, but it isn't over the top unhealthy, and it's generally aimed at families.

Sarah said it looked good and asked if I could make some, so I got the last of the chicken broth out of the freezer. I only made half the recipe, because there were only 4 cups of broth. I only used garlic, onions and carrots in the broth, and I didn't add any herbs to the dumplings.

Here's how they look while cooking:

And in the bowl.:

I remember making drop dumplings with soup from Bisquick when I was a teen--they seemed fluffier than this. Maybe my baking powder is getting old? At any rate, they weren't as fluffy as I remember, which was a little disappointing. Sarah liked them, Lauren didn't. I thought they were ok. I might give them another go, but it's not high on my list right now.

I'd like to try my hand at matzo balls next. I've never made those, but my grandmother did. I think I'll get some matzo and keep them in the cupboard. I don't have any more chicken stock in the freezer, but I make it on such a regular basis that it's not a big deal.

A Reprieve

After two disastrous days of eating this week, I was a just a week away from my doctor's appointment, where I'd hoped to be "Overweight" instead of "Obese."  Just one week to lose 3.5 pounds. That's a lot to lose in just a week . . . wait a minute. Today's Friday.  Next Friday?  We have co-op next Friday! 

I called the office to reschedule and got an appointment for the 16th instead. So I now have plenty of time to hit that mark--almost three weeks!  I'm tempted to adjust my goal down a little, and I might still do that. But I'm  interested to see what I can do by next Friday as well.

I know it's just a numbers game, and making healthy choices is more important. But it's still gratifying when the numbers reflect those choices, too.

Another Option

I've slowly realized that there is another option besides Planet Fitness or the fitness room at the community center. We could get a treadmill. Treadmills can be gotten for about $100 off Craigslist, but it would be available any time, and any of us could use it (the kids get a big kick out of using Grammy's treadmill when they're up there).

We had a treadmill before, but I hadn't used it in so long, we gave it away. If we were to get another one, I'd have to get rid of a lot of stuff in the bedroom--I put a hope chest in that same area, and it would have to go back down to the basement. But I also think we could get rid of one of our dressers (we mostly use the closet, and some stuff could go in bins under the bed), so that would free up some room.

When I mentioned all this to Jeff last night, he said, "I said that! Like, twice!" Oops. Sorry, honey.

So we'd have less junk in our room, I could exercise whenever I want, the whole family could use it, and the price would be reasonable.

Excuse me, I have to go buy trash bags in bulk.

Craft Hope Project 16

I love Craft Hope's concept, and I've wanted to do many of their projects, but I have a terrible time with getting things to the post office. I think their latest project is something I need to kick myself in the butt to do.

For Project 16 :: The Littlest Warriors, we will be collecting handmade beanies and bags for kids just like Pierce who are fighting cancer.

We need BEANIES for babies through teenagers. All noggin sizes. They can be knit, crochet, fabric. You name it. They can be embellished with flowers and bows. But don’t forget about the boys. They need hats too. It’s very difficult to find adorable hats and we think this community is the best place to get them. There are a hundred and one patterns online for beanies. If you have one you’d like to share post it in the comments and I’ll put up a post to share with everyone.
And…
We need BAGS for the kids to take with them to the hospital. They can be simple tote bag style or whatever suits your fancy. And if you are so inclined fill them up with goodies for the kids. Some ideas are books, puzzles, crayons, coloring books. The opportunities are endless.

 I think I need to get another sewing day rolling at church. And I think this is good enough reason to shell out the $ to get my Serger fixed. The deadline is March 12--I need to get going on this!

Shopping

I know; I said I wasn't going to go shopping until spring, because I don't really need any winter clothes. But Kohl's had a great sale on winter coats--Jeff got one for $53 that was originally $180.  My winter coats are getting too big, and by next year, they should be really big. So it makes sense to get a new one now, while they're cheap, instead of waiting until next fall, when they're full price.

Yep, makes perfect sense. Here's the problem: I don't know what size I'll be next fall. I tried half a dozen coats on, in various sizes, but the fact remains that if it fits me now, I'm hoping planning that it won't fit me next year. So picking a size now is a crapshoot, and not worth it, even for a good deal.

I also did some more "closet shopping" yesterday. I was looking to see what I had, and pulled out a blue striped button down shirt that I used to really like. I checked the tag. 3X--really? I knew it would be too big, but some things do run small. When I tried it on, it was really too big, even too much for me to consider altering the darts that are already in it. Time to call Purple Heart again!

I've been wanting a black or white wrap style shirt to go with the black & white skirt I got back in December that almost fits, but haven't seen anything "just right" (this is a problem with me--I get something very specific in mind, and then nothing else will do). But at the back of my closet I saw a couple silk t-shirts I used to wear with skirts to work back in the '93 or so. Why do I still have these? But one was black, so I shrugged and decided to see how close it was to fitting (size XL). I expected it would be far too tight, and it was too tight, but not by that much. The shoulder pads were a little linebacker-y, but I can take those out easily.  I'm hoping that this is an outfit I'll be able to wear by sometime this spring.

So even though I didn't get anything new this weekend, I do have clothes waiting for me. How long it takes before I can wear them is up to me. :)

Week 4

I'm happy to report that last week's six pound gain is gone. I really didn't expect to lose it that quickly, but no complaints! I've been weighing every day again. I'd like to get to the point where I only weigh once a week, but apparently I still need that daily accountability, at least for a while. I have just over three more pounds to lose to get to "overweight."

I had set my calories back down to 1300 this week, to keep a tight rein on things. I'm bumping back up to 1350 this week. An extra 50 calories per day isn't a huge amount in the grand scheme of things, but it does give me some more wiggle room.

Wiggle room is just what I need today. We're having dinner with Jeff's family, and although his mom cooks good stuff, I can't exactly weigh my portions the way I do at home. Actually, it's a good exercise in estimating and making good choices without the crutch of the food scale.

Still no exercise this week. I've gotten to the point where I sincerely don't know what I'm going to do about that issue.

Recipe Review: Garlic Lime Tilapia

I'm always looking for new ways to make fish. So far, fish is generally a hard sell for the family. They eat it, but grudgingly. When I saw Garlic Lime Tilapia, I thought it sounded pretty good, and made it last night. Sadly, this is not the recipe that turned my family around on fish. Again, they ate it, but only what was served to them.

I eat tilapia pretty frequently for lunch. I dust it with Old Bay or Cajun seasoning, and fry it in a pan with cooking spray. I either put it on a piece of bread for a sandwich (a little low fat mayonnaise is a bonus), or just have it with some veggies and maybe a carb.  Sometimes I put salsa over it, too. Tasty, low fat, low cal, good protein, and cheap.

Maybe I need to try a different kind of fish for the rest of the family. I've got a pan-fried catfish recipe with a cornmeal crust that looks good. . .

Acapulco Pancakes

Most days, I have eggs for breakfast. Other times, it's oatmeal. Once in a while it's cold cereal. But sometimes I make pancakes. It's ostensibly a treat for the kids, but I always have a few, too. I use my mom's buttermilk pancake recipe, but since I rarely have buttermilk in the house, I use milk with lemon juice as a substitute.

But if there's orange juice around, I invariably make Acapulco Pancakes. Acapulco Pancakes replace some of the milk with orange juice, and it makes a really nice, light pancake.

Why are they called Acapulco Pancakes?  Because back in the 90's, my dad & stepmom used to go to Acapulco and stay with friends at their condo. The cleaning lady/cook would make these pancakes, so that's how they got the name.

The recipe itself is very basic:

• 1 cup flour
• 1 1/4 tsp baking powder
• 1/4 cup sugar
• 1/2 tsp baking soda
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 2 Tablespoons oil
• 1 egg
• 1/2 cup milk
• 3/4 cup orange juice

Mix the dry, then the wet. The pancakes will be rather thin, not thick and fluffy. Also, don't make them too big, because they can be hard to turn if they are. I got 22 pancakes from today's batch.

They came in at 49 calories, 5 carbs, 2 g fat, 1 g protein.  I had five today. Not my healthiest breakfast, certainly, but acceptable.

Go check out a bunch of other orange/orange juice recipes at Eat at Home! 

False Advertising

A few months ago, I saw a blog post with the title, "Want to eat a BIG bowl of cookie dough?" 

Duh. The only point of making cookies is to eat the dough before you bake it. Well . . . maybe not the only point. Anyway, I couldn't wait to make this recipe. Sadly, no nutritional information was provided. When I put it in the recipe calculator at My Fitness Pal, I was dismayed to see that the calories for the entire bowl were just over 1300. OK, so I wouldn't eat the whole bowl. I could share it with three friends.  That's still over 300 calories per serving, and that's a lot more than most of my snacks or desserts. It's worth trying again, with a  rework of the recipe, because I thought it was pretty good. Sarah hated it, but Lauren and a bunch of her friends wolfed it down. But I felt misled. One fourth of that recipe does not qualify as a "BIG bowl."

Last week at our co-op, the cooking class made baked vegetable chips. The baked kale was amazing. Crunchy, mildly salty, interesting (not strong) flavor. The kids hated it. I couldn't get enough. We had a potluck at church Saturday, so I decided to make them myself.

I ripped the stems out of one bunch of kale and ripped them into bite sized pieces. Then I spread them on two rimmed baking sheets and poured a Tablespoon of oil on each sheet and sprinkled with kosher salt. I baked at 350 for about 15 minutes. You want to make sure they don't burn, but dry out and get crispy.

There were some minor complaints about the smell, no one else in the family liked them, and there was some doubt as to how they would be received at the potluck. "If no one else likes them, then more for me!"

Not everyone did like them. They weren't the runaway hit I'd hoped for; almost half of what I took came back home with me. I'll admit, something that looks odd and isn't your typical saucy potluck offering is a hard sell sometimes. But I'll definitely be making this again. I'll probably spray with cooking spray instead of the olive oil, because the salt didn't stick well, and that much oil just wasn't necessary.

Oh--the calories? 365 (which will be less next time when I use less oil) for an enormous amount, easily as much as a big bag of chips. Did I mention that the kale only cost 69 cents? Now that's a good deal.

Week 3

Oy.

I knew it wouldn't be a loss this week. I've had too many days of eating too much. But a six pound gain is never nice to see, no matter how much you know it's coming.

So now it's time to get going. Again. History says that after a gain like this, I'll have a few weeks of big losses, but I'm not sure that I'll hit that first goal at the time I wanted. I do still hear that little voice that says, "Nope. This is it. You'll never get past that number again." That voice needs to shut the bleep up.

Week 2

218.3 this morning. That's about four and a half pounds from goal #1 and about 8 weeks to goal #2.

I'm hoping to join the community center fitness room next week, so exercise is still going to be low this week. I will do the Wii for at least half an hour every day, whether it be Wii Fit or Just Dance.

I'm increasing my daily calorie goal from 1350 to 1400. An extra 50 calories a day isn't a lot, but I'm looking to increase slowly. I'm going to see how this goes for a few weeks. Of course, this also means I need more protein & fiber, which can be difficult for me to get sometimes.

I'm also going to go back to planned out meals. The whole "lots of food in the house and everyone can grab whatever" does not work for us. It doesn't hurt that people have been dealing with the aftermath of stomach flu (not severe, but not fun). It's time to use up those leftovers!

What I'm Reading

I'm rereading Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card before I give it to Sarah. I've always planned to have her read it, because it's great, but I don't know where my copy of it is. Her Literature class read it last sememster (before we started with this group), so I decided it was a good time to check it out of the library. Both girls are at a sleepover tonight, so I'm going through it again, so when she starts ranting about something in it, I'll be able to respond.

And boy, is she ever going to rant about it. She hated the first few chapters of The Hunger Games, but liked it by the end. This one is going to make her even more crazy. But I think she'll also like it by the end. I need to find some study questions for her to think about as she finishes each chapter, too.

Once I'm done with that, I'm going to jump into Spontaneous Happiness by Andrew Weil. I have his Spontaneous Healing from a few years ago, and always liked it. I saw that he had this out, so I checked it out of the library. Well, it fell to the bottom of the pile and I kept forgetting about it. I put it in the bag to go back today, but I started glancing through it and realized it deals a lot with nutrition, anxiety, and other stuff that I'm really interested in. So I turned it in, and then checked it out again with Sarah's card. Bad mom! I'll get through it and get it back by the end of the week, I promise.

Oh, and in non-reading news, we went to see Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy today. I was the one who chose the movie, and I chose that because we always see action movies, and I wanted something a little different.  Sadly, it was a complete snooze-fest. Tin Tin or the latest Mission Impossible would have been better choices. I won't go so far as to say Chipwrecked would have been a better choice, but . . .

Recipe Reviews: Rice Pudding

Last night, I made the Cherry Vanilla Rice Pudding from the Cook Yourself This Faster cookbook. I'd never made rice pudding before, and I don't think I'd even eaten it before, but was pretty sure I'd like it. It's rice, people. With sugar & dairy. What's not to like?

The recipe itself is quite basic: 4½ cups of 1% milk, ⅔ cup white rice, ⅓ cup sugar, a little orange zest, and some vanilla extract and dried cherries at the end. Serve warm or cold.

First off, I didn't have 1% milk, so I used the 2% that I did have, and 4 ½ cups of it seemed crazy, so I only used 4 cups. Even then, I wasn't convinced it wasn't too much, but of course it all came together beautifully in the end. I thought it was insanely delicious, and Sarah also loved it. Jeff thought it was good, and Lauren didn't even want to try it. My only complaint was that at six servings, each portion was a little small.

Of course, since there were enough leftovers, I had some with breakfast this morning, too. Not as good cold as warm, but still good.

227 calories, 41 carbs, 4 g fat, 7 g protein, 0 fiber, 2 g saturated fat.

Hm.  What can I do differently next time?  I think it would be worthwhile to make a point of getting 1% milk, and I'd use the full amount (there were a few grains that were just a bit too al dente for me). I think I'd also nix the dried fruit--it's tasty, but there wasn't much of it, so it just didn't add much. And I'd make 4 servings instead of 6.

All these changes would change the numbers to 296 calories, 53 carbs, 3 g fat, 12 g protein, 0 fiber, 2 g saturated fat. Still not an everyday dish, but it's so rich that I'd be satisfied with a really light dinner beforehand if I were getting a full quarter of the whole pot.

Someone's In The Kitchen

Oh, that's right--I'm in the kitchen. Or at least I will be when the dishwasher is done.
Plan for today:

• chicken in the crockpot
• chicken carcass in the crockpot for stock (I need more onions)
• Szechuan Green Beans with Pork with brown rice for dinner 
• leftover ground pork + ground beef + potato + onion + carrots + rutabaga + pastry = Cornish Pasties

Pasties are fairly labor intensive--I only make them once or twice a year, but Jeff loves them, and it's a good time to have them in the freezer.

This is looking like a "grab whatever you want" week for food (you'd think that would have been last week, but no).  We'll have the chicken meat & chicken broth, there is fish and shrimp in the freezer, the pasties will be in the freezer, and I'm doing boneless country pork ribs with BBQ sauce in the crockpot and Asian style on the grill tomorrow.  So there will be lots of food available, but eveyone will be responsible for their own meals. There are always lots of vegetables available (I need more peppers, too), so I'm confident that we'll be able to figure it out.

I've gotten more interested in desserts lately. I'm making rice pudding tonight, and keen to try a lighter chocolate mousse soon. 

Week 1 and Goals

Weigh in at 219.8

Goal #1: under 214 by doctor visit 1st week of Feb
Goal #2: Corktown St. Patrick's 5K (no time goal here--just do it)
Goal #3: under 200 pounds by Easter
Goal #4: Farmington 10K Crop Walk in May (again, no time goal--just finish it)
Goal #5: 190 pounds (tentative goal weight) by Memorial Day

I'm going to be slowly increasing my calories over the next few months.  I think my maintenance calories will be between 1500 and 1700.  Right now my daily goal is 1350. I want to start losing weight more gradually, so that by the time I get to my goal weight, it's just natural to be eating at an appropriate amount.

2011

In 2011, I

• got yelled at and threatened with blood pressure meds by my doctor in February
• got an iPod for Mother's Day
• went to Florida in May
• broke my arm in August
• walked five miles in one day in September
• saw Sting perform at the Fox Theater in November
• dealt with car issues, family issues, and personal issues all stinkin' year
• lost 128.3 pounds, which is 36.75% of my original body weight
• lost 11 inches off my hips, 10.5 inches off my waist, and 11.5 inches off my bust
• lost control several times, but wrestled it back into my corner every time

I don't know specifically what 2012 will bring. I know it will bring more stress, because that's the way life is. But I also know that I will have to deal with that, because letting it run roughshod over me doesn't really help. 

What Was I Thinking?

For Christmas, I asked for and received Just Dance 3 and Zumba for the Wii.  I've heard so much about how fun they are, and I figured it would be better than just stepping on and off the balance board in Free Step.

The girls were really excited for the Just Dance--they've played it at their friend's house, so they know a lot of the moves already. Lauren was demonstrating it for me last night, and I suddenly remembered:  I am totally uncoordinated.

I was watching her jump around, thinking, "Crap. I am never going to be able to do that!" But I got up and did the "Crazy Thing Called Love" routine. You know the best part of trying to do one of these routines?  You feel like a total idiot.

Honestly, I don't know what I was thinking. I never like aerobics in college, either. But I do know that if I suck it up and do them more frequently, it'll get easier and I might even remember what rhythm is. Yeah, probably not.

Stuffed Pepper Soup

One of my favorite recipe sites is Gina's SkinnyTaste. She posts a new recipe pretty much every day, and they usually look delicious. I was browsing there the other day, specifically looking for something new to make. I decided to give Stuffed Pepper Soup a try.

But I didn't want to tell everyone what I was making. Jeff in particular has bad stuffed pepper memories from the 70's--that and goulash are the two foods he & his brother joke about the most. But the recipe has everything we like: peppers, tomatoes, ground beef, rice. In fact, as I was making it, I realized that it looks a lot like chili without the beans.  We eat our chili over rice, so the similarity is even greater. I used a more peppers than the original recipe called for, and no green--just red, yellow & orange.

The girls gave it grades of A- and B, and agreed that I could make it again. Jeff liked it, especially after I sprinkled some "Mexican" cheese over the top of his. I loved it and was glad I allotted two bowls for myself. I'm looking forward to leftovers for lunches the rest of the week.

Shopping

I got a few Macy's gift cards for Christmas, woo hoo!  I've decided to use them as my motivation. I have plenty of clothes to get me through the winter, but not much for spring or summer. It will take me a while to get my BMI from Obese to Overweight, so the timing should be just right. I will not go shopping until I get to that point.

We also got a big Amazon gift card from my mom. I dithered around for quite a while, trying to decide if I wanted earrings with my share of it, or an earring stand/organizer, or books or music or  . . . yeah, you get it.

I've decided that I want to broaden my cooking horizons a bit, so I'm getting a couple cookbooks.
Cook This Not That 350 Calorie Meals
Cook This Not That Kitchen Survival Guide
I've checked both of these out of the library, and really like the way they're set up and lots of the recipes look good. I also saw that there's a 2012 edition out, but I'm not sure that it isn't more of a restaurant guide than a cookbook, so I'll give it a trial run via the library as well before I buy.

Look for more cooking posts in the coming months!

Song I can't get out of my head:  Brighter Than the Sun

Aftermath

Once again, all those good plans were for naught. I ate without thought or caring on both Friday and Saturday. Saturday night, I even felt like I might throw up for a brief moment and wondered why I was doing this to myself. Not a pleasant thought or feeling.

But Sunday was better. I had one biscotti with coffee at our church potluck breakfast service (one of the other members said, "We should do this every year, no matter what day Christmas falls on" and I agree) and the rest of the day was pretty good. It was kind of a relief to be eating better again. I certainly felt better.

BUT--have I gotten back on the scale yet?  No.  And I don't plan to. I plan to keep working my plan to the best of my ability and ignore the scale until January 1st. Then, like so many other people, I get a fresh start. Next Sunday will be Week 1 and I'll start over from there, no matter what that number is. Am I hoping it's a "good" number?  Yes, of course. But whether it is or it isn't, it's where I'll be starting.

Week 46

Lost a little over a pound this week; that's more than half of last week's gain gone. It's still about a pound and a half over my lowest. 

Yeah, I know it'll come off eventually. In a weird way, it's good for my motivation. It'll hopefully keep me mindful over the weekend.

Honestly though, I don't know if it will or not. When I'm confronted with yummy food, I don't generally do too well.. Appetizers seem to be the worst for me--vast arrays of food tempt me to constantly pick at it until I've had far too much. Sitting at the table, it seems to be easier for me to portion things. At Thanksgiving, it was the cheese ball that was the most irresistible.

The answer would seem to be to find something else to do. Find another place to sit that isn't right in front of the nuts and chips and cheese and crackers and spinach dip. Yeah--at the holidays, it seems like the only place that fits that description is the bathroom. 

So we'll see how it goes. Today is a busy day, as is tomorrow, as is the rest of the weekend. I'll check back in with a report on Monday.

Then and Now

This is a picture from December of 2009.  As we do most years, the family took a turn ringing the bell for the Salvation Army. We sign up through church, so it's easy. We also did it last year, but no one got a picture. Jeff & the girls did it this year, but I went over to visit my Dad at the last minute, so no family pic there this year. I don't know how much I weighed in this picture, but I'm guessing it was pretty close to my heaviest.

Although this isn't taken during bell ringing for contrast, it is a current family picture, and one I like very much.

I should print both of these and keep them on my refrigerator.

That Helped

So it's been a rough week. I'm doing my best with my plans, but I'm not really feeling it. I'm surrounded by cookies, and my mom just sent us a tin of Swiss Colony popcorn. I told Sarah that she could have the White Chocolate bag, I'd take the Butter Toffee bag, Lauren could have the Cheddar bag, and when Dad got home, we'd tell him it came empty.

It's a joke, but also a sincere temptation. I really could eat that whole bag.  Of course, it would be over 1000 calories and 72 grams of fat. The Pecan Tassies that are my signature Christmas cookie are 100 calories each. In past years, I would eat three at a shot.  Today, I ate one after lunch, very slowly, and I savored every bite. 

Part of me hates this. Hates mindfulness, and would much rather just eat without thinking and without consequences.  Sadly, the former is possible but the latter is not.

This afternoon, I took a risk. I had planned to try my dress on again tomorrow, but I decided to give it a go today. This had potential to backfire in a big way. My weight is up a little right now, and if I couldn't get it zipped, I knew I would be seriously bummed.

When it did zip, I was happy but also relieved.  Don't get me wrong--it was tight, and I had no intention of even trying to sit down in it.  But it zipped.

The zipper made it easier to ignore the Fail Voice. That's the voice that gleefully reminds me that I've lost essentially no weight this month, and am nowhere near getting below that magic 225 where I stalled last time. That's the voice that wonders why I don't just eat what I want for this ONE WEEK and get back on board next Monday,  I could totally do that, no problem. And if I gained a few pounds or even ten, so what?  It'll just come back off again once I'm working it.

Except that I've already lost it once. I don't want to have to lose it again and again. And again. A fluctuation of a couple pounds is reasonable, but that's it. I'm drawing a line in the sand.  I'm going to keep working my plan, even if my results aren't optimal yet. Health is the goal here--losing weight is the happy side effect.

Follow Up

It's not the most I've ever gained. Not quite two pounds, which I know will come back off again in time.

But I have to admit, it's a little disheartening. Not surprising--I knew this would be the result in the middle of the binge. But I still have that tendency to think of this in a linear way, and this feels like a step back. It messes with my "schedule." Really, though, I should not be thinking in those terms at all, so having it messed with is not a totally bad thing. Sometimes, I will overeat. But ONLY sometimes. Most of the time--the vast majority of the time--I will make healthy choices. And that will get me where I need to go, and keep me there.

Week 45

I did not weigh in this morning. I think this is the first Thursday I've missed. I can blame it on Lauren being on the Wii early this morning (she woke up super early), or on my getting breakfast before I remembered to weigh, but really, I just didn't want to.

I've had a couple binge days this week, and although I followed one with a loss the next day, I know I'm up this morning.  I'm trying to decide if I'll just let this whole week go and not weigh in until next Thursday, but I know that isn't a good idea. Eventually, I'll have to start weighing in less frequently, but right now especially, I need the accountability.

Tomorrow morning, before breakfast, I'll weigh in and record the damage, no matter how bad it is.

Doubt

I'm essentially back to the weight I was when I got married. It's also the same weight I was when I last got serious about my health last time (about seven years ago). So now I have this vaguely superstitious fear that I won't be able to get past this point. That I'll just up and quit. AGAIN. That I'll stop caring. That I'll go back to those old bad habits.

 I've had occasional binge days in the past, and for the most part, I've come to accept them and know that I can move past them. But now I have this horrible dread that I can't or won't get past the point of eatting myself into oblivion.

Oblivion sounds good right now--there's a lot of stress going on, and there's no sign of it letting up.  Last week, I was going to write a blog post called, "It Never Gets Better," but I decided that sounded too depressing and that I should have more of a zen-like "It's Always Something" attitude instead.
So what am I doing about it?  Right now, I feel like all I can do is keep a really tight rein on my eating. I don't think that's a really healthy attitude either, but at least it isn't unremitting binging. 

My Ring

Last year, I didn't wear my wedding ring, because it was too small. I can't even remember how long it had been since I'd worn it regularly. One of my big goals was to be able to wear it again. I finally could, but it took until summer for it to be comfortable, which was longer than I expected.

I frequently took it off when I went for walks, which was a good thing in August. If I'd been wearing it when I fell, I would have had to have it cut off.  It did take a few weeks for the swelling to go down enough to get it back on.

Yesterday, I took it off again. It's gotten so loose that I'm starting to worry about it falling off. It's not quite to that point yet, but it's definitely sliding around on my finger. I'm going to find out about a ring sizer, but until then, it stays in my jewelry box. I'm happy to have lost the weight, but my hand feels weird without it.

Week 44

Well, this is it--the deadline I set to get back to the weight I think I was at when I got married. So did I make it? 

I'm half a pound over.  That is success, as far as I'm concerned. I haven't tried my dress on recently--I've decided to wait until my actual anniversary for that, but I believe it'll zip easily.  Thanks for all the encouragement from everyone--it really does make a big difference!

For this week, I lost 1.18%.  Four week floating average is 1.42%.

It's time for a new goal.  I go back to see my doc in early February, and I'd really like to be in the "Overweight" BMI category by then.  That's 11 pounds and 8 weeks away. Normally, I'd be very confident about that time frame.  But Christmas will be here soon. It took a week to rebound from Thanksgiving, and that was just one day. I want to give myself a little wiggle room.

Also, I'm going to start slowly increasing my calories in January. When I eventually get to maintenance, I'll be eating more. I'd like to work to that slowly and kind of coast into it. 

I still haven't started the C25K yet.  I have a little more time today, so I'm hoping to figure out how to do the first level without the podcast or stopwatch or whatever. I don't want to have to count seconds in my head, but that's all I can think of so far.

Week 43

Down .17% this week.  Four week floating average of 1.12% down.

That's a reasonable loss, considering that I came off Thanksgiving week, and two large losses previous weeks. I'm satisfied.  I have 3.2 pounds left to get to my original goal by next week. That's not impossible, but it's highly unlikely, and I'm not going to worry about getting there in the next seven days.

I'd like to start the Couch to 5K program soon, but don't want to kick out the $75 for the community center this week (yes, that's what I'm choosing instead of Planet Fitness). I might download the podcast for my iPod and run around the gym for half an hour instead for the first week or two. I won't know exactly how far I've gone, but that's not something to worry about yet. I'm going to work more on getting to the point where I can run for more than 30 seconds at a time first.

After a fairly laid back week, things are ramping up again. I'm working today and tomorrow afternoon & evening, and Sarah has to be at church by 6:30 Saturday morning. That's also the day of the craft show and bell ringing for the Salvation Army. I've done very little prep for Christmas in terms of shopping, baking or sewing, and none of the decorations are up yet.

Happily, I've found a sucker friend that is willing to do the C25K program with me, so that will help with motivation. I will start by Monday at the absolute latest.

Week 42

Down 2.1% this week. Floating average of 1.77% down over four weeks, 1.09% down over six weeks. 

This is surprising, but not shocking, just like two weeks ago but in reverse. Then, I saw my daily weight not budging even though I was on track. This week, I've been eating the same way, but watching the numbers drop almost daily. In fact, today was the first time I haven't lost at all in almost two weeks.

So big losses two weeks in a row.  I'm three and a half pounds from the goal I set for Dec 8. I know I can do that, but I'm not sure if the numbers will get there by that time.  Maybe, maybe not.  It doesn't matter, because I know I will get there and beyond. The "beyond" part is what really matters to me.

The plan for today:  moderate breakfast, small lunch, nice dinner. We're going to the in-laws', so I don't know what all they will have, but I know it'll be good, and I plan to enjoy myself. I anticipate that the appetizers will be my biggest challenge.

Shopping

I went out shopping with a friend last night and had a really good time, got a couple cute things on clearance, found a couple cute things to add to my Christmas list. One of the places we went was Macy's because I had a gift card.  Their woman's department is nice but not amazing. You know what is amazing?  Their online catalog.  There are several dresses I see there that I'd love to try on, because I'm not buying something I can't try on.

For example: this dress looks really cute in the picture. But how do I know that waistband will hit me in the right place?  How do I know the neck isn't too low?  Same issues with this one.  I love the whole wrap concept, but since I've never tried one on, I can't know for sure how it will look.

I'm not about to kick out $$$ for five dresses so I can try them on at home and return four.  I guess it's just that much more incentive for me to get out of the plus sizes.  Easter shopping is going to be fuuuuuuuuuuuun.

Reconsidering

As I was walking out to my car at the end of the parking lot the other night (the other cold and windy night), I remembered something:  I really dislike being cold. When I mentioned this to Jeff, he said, "You live in Michigan. You're just now realizing this?" No, I've known this for a long time. But when planning to join a gym, leaving the house when it's below freezing and getting into a cold car is one of the things I didn't take into account.  It's also one of the things I do my best to avoid. Once there's snow on the ground, I'll like it even less.

So, I'm going to give workout DVDs another look. When I got them last time (and never used them), I still had nice weather to tempt me outside. I'm hoping that the cold will encourage me to use them more. I've put holds on three different ones and can hopefully pick them up soon. Hopefully I can find something I really like.

Ciabatta Rolls

Holy cow, these things are AMAZING. I made them Sunday night/Monday morning. Yes, they take a little time. Yes, they're a little work. But did I mention the AMAZINGNESS?

When I first took them out of the oven, they had a very crisp crust. Like, break it open hard. But really good.

After they sat for a while, the crust went from hard to fabulously chewy. That's the kind of texture I love, but that I find really hard to get, especially out of my own oven.

The flour is kind of messy when you eat them, which is just another reason to break them into bite-sized pieces with your hands instead of tearing into them with your mouth.

Unfortunately, I ate three that first day. Since then, I've been more restrained, but it's been seriously hard to resist them.

For Thanksgiving, we're bringing rolls and dessert. I'm going to make these and another recipe that has a slightly sweeter, more tender yield. I'll try to post more step-by-step pictures. For dessert, pumpkin pie is a no-brainer. I was going to bring something healthier as well--maybe even the Cook's Illustrated Cheesecake that is supposed to be so fabulous.  But then I thought about pecan pie.  Then I thought about Dutch Apple Pie. Then I thought about Black Bottom Pie. At this point, I have no idea what we'll end up bringing.

Week 41

2.22% loss this week. Four week floating average is at 1.34% loss.

Yeah, that's what I thought. A week of nothing in spite of good habits = a huge loss the following week. I don't think I'm destined for nice, even weight loss for a while. Once I get closer to my goal weight and start slowly increasing my calories, I'm hoping for more moderate, consistent losses.

I just finished a big breakfast of fried potatoes with mushrooms, scallions, red peppers, ham & eggs (410 calories for a huge plate of food).

Lunch is going to be kind of a splurge. When I got home from work last night, Jeff was making hamburgers on the George Foreman, and they smelled wonderful, so I'm having a cheeseburger & salad for lunch. Originally I was going to use a ciabatta roll (look for a post about those tomorrow) for the bun, but I'd rather have one with dinner, so I'm just going to slap the patty on top of the salad ( 371 calories).

Dinner will be leftover minestrone soup with a little ham thrown in for protein, a roll, an apple, and a couple rolls of Smarties (368 calories).

I still have about 150 calories left for the day, and I need to get some protein, but I've hit my limit on fat. I don't think I'll be able to get any exercise today unless we stay home instead of going to see my Dad. We'd all rather go see him, but I haven't talked to him yet this morning, so I don't know if he's up for visitors.

Beef Stir Fry

I can't begin to say how often we have stir fry.  Beef or pork, it's a great way to make a healthy dinner we'll all eat.

This version used:
10 oz sirloin steak, sliced thinly
1 Tablespoon olive oil
1/2 cup diced red onion
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 tsp minced fresh ginger
1 cup sliced red and yellow bell peppers
2 cups green beans
2 Tablespoons hoisin sauce

To make it, I browned the meat over high heat, then took it out of the pan before it was cooked all the way through. Then I added some olive oil, and let it get hot over medium heat before adding the onions. After they got translucent, I added the garlic & ginger. That came out of the pan and got added to the meat. I added the bell peppers and let them get a little color before throwing in the green beans. Then I added a few tablespoons of water and slapped a lid on the pan so the vegetables could steam a little. Then I cleared some space in the middle of the pan for the hoisin sauce.  I added the meat & onions back in, and stirred everything thoroughly to coat.

We ate it over brown rice, and there are two servings left. I'll have one for dinner tonight, and Jeff will have the other for lunch tomorrow.

Per serving (1/6th of the meat/veg + 1/2 cup brown rice): 245 calories, 28 carbs, 6 grams fat, 18 g protein, 3 grams fiber.  I'll also have an apple in the car.

Just for comparisons sake, tonight's family dinner while I'm at work will be BBQ meatballs. One serving, which is 4 meatballs and a few tablespoons of sauce, is 315 calories, 21 carbs, 17 grams fat, 16 grams protein, and 0 fiber. I love meatballs, but 4 isn't much of a dinner. That doesn't even touch on anything on the side. I'm glad I've got leftovers.

Another Option

I'd like to know how Planet Fitness says "No Commitment" on their billboards, but you still have to sign up and pay an annual fee.  Do I need a new dictionary, or do they?

Anyway, I remembered another option:  our local rec center has a small workout room. Signing up for that is $75/year, which is incredibly cheap. They have weights and treadmills, though I haven't been in to look at it in a couple years, so I don't know the specifics.

I would be all over this, but there is one downside: they don't open until 9AM. Yes, that is a substantial drawback for me. I really like getting my exercise in early, before the rest of the day starts. I don't want to take one or two hours out of our school day every day. Yes, the kids could come with me and work in the library. Yes, they could stay home and work. But that's still time that I'm essentially unavailable to them. I feel like I'm gone a lot already because of work, and they're getting the short end of the stick.

So . . . Planet Fitness = more $, more distance, but less disruptive to our lives. Community Center = close, cheap, but not good for the schedule. I'm going to put it to the family over dinner tonight. I seriously can't remember the last time we all sat at the dinner table at the same time. I better make something delicious.

Week 57

0% loss this week, which is unsurprising but still confusing.

It's unsurprising because I've been weighing in all week, and watching the numbers bump up or down a little bit, but not moving the way I would expect. So this is actually not bad, considering I was up a pound and a half yesterday.

It's confusing because I've been "in the groove" all week. I've been eating right for the most part, staying under my calorie goal, drinking water, exercising. Normally, I would expect to see at least some loss. (this is one of the reasons I do get on the scale every day--if I saw that number today with no warning, I would have thought the stinkin' thing was broken)

But I have to take into account that enormous loss last week, and that this might just be my body's way of keeping balance. I'm at .56% average loss over the past four weeks.

So I'm going to keep on doing what I need to do. I might not get a walk in today, but I'm going to try. I don't know how my food is going to go, either.  I didn't eat breakfast until almost 11AM, which doesn't leave a lot of time to eat lunch or make dinner before I have to run out again.

Go Wings!

Just got back from a Wings win, 5-0 over Anaheim. We actually left halfway through the third period, right after Franzen scored the last goal.

Got over 4 miles in today, woot!  Hoping to get the same tomorrow, although it will be even busier than today.

#5 Thing I'm Thankful For: That the Nemo's bus filled up fast, and we got home fast, so I didn't have to use a public restroom!

Time

 No exercise yesterday. None today, either. Much as I want to, there is NO TIME. Between the kids' school, my work, Girl Scouts, and hours of available daylight, it isn't happening. I'm hoping to get two BIG walks in over the weekend. God knows I need them.

#4 Thing I'm Thankful For:  that I'm working so much right now, even though the demands on my time are extreme.

Week 39

2.77% loss this week. That brings my four week floating average to 0.95%.

Yay, right?  Big loss, I'm happy, woo hoo. So why do I feel weird? (Because I am weird.) When I have a small loss or a gain, it gives me new determination to stay on track. When I have a big loss, I feel almost guilty. "I'm losing too fast!"

There certainly is some drive to "get there" as quickly as possible. I'm always thinking ahead, to what my weight could be in another month or two if I stay on track. Balance that with the "keep it healthy" mentality. I think for the most part I do keep it healthy. I try to eat balanced meals and get reasonable exercise.

But it's that "too fast, better slow down" idea that sometimes sabotages me. I'm more likely to end up going overboard. I think I'm going too fast, so I balance it by eating more, or eating stuff I otherwise wouldn't.. Then I slow down or gain for a few weeks. Then I get motivated again and lose big. And again and again and again.

I'm going to stay moderate again this week. We're having a birthday dinner at my in-law's this weekend. I have no idea what kind of food we'll have, so I'll just have to do my best with it. My mother-in-law knows how hard I'm working to be healthier, so she's very supportive.

I guess I'm going to just keep doing what I'm doing. Staying mindful & making good choices.

#3 Thing I'm Thankful For: My great family (especially daughter #1 who did most of the work) who cleaned the kitchen again last night!

Cranberry Balsamic Pork

Eat at Home did it again. Her Ingredient Spotlight is cranberries today, which really gets my mouth watering. There are so many things you can do with cranberries--I think it's the tartness that gives them that flexibility. Basic cranberry sauce is almost my favorite part of Thanksgiving (nothing beats my stepmom's stuffing), but the following recipe is the one I pull out when company is coming over. Simple, delicious, impressive.

Cranberry Balsamic Pork

• 1 1/2 tablespoons butter
• 4 - 6 center cut, boneless pork chops
• 1/2 cup chopped onion
• 1 tablespoon chopped fresh rosemary
• 1/2 cup vegetable broth
• 1/2 cup canned whole berry cranberry sauce
• 2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar

Melt butter in a heavy skillet. Salt & pepper chops.  Saute until just brown on both sides. You don't want them cooked all the way through, or they'll be tough by the time you're done. Remove from pan. Add onion & rosemary. Saute until translucent. Add broth, cranberries, and vinegar. Add pork back to the pan and cook on medium until done to your liking. Serve with rice, noodles, potatoes, or--our favorite!--spätzle.

Winter Exercise

I'm still walking outside--the weather is actually pretty nice in the afternoons. But like I've said before, "Winter is Coming." If there is any ice or snow on the ground, I won't be exercising outside.

Then what DO I do? I can think of a couple options.

• Option 1: no exercise.

• Option 1: gym membership. I saw a Planet Fitness billboard advertising $10/month. No bells & whistles with that, and I can only use the one facility where I sign up. That's not a deterrent to me. Having to drive 20 minutes to the nearest one so that I can exercise is a deterrent. However, if they're open early, I could return to my "exercise before everyone else wakes up" routine. I don't know how busy they'd be at that time, though. 
• There is an added bonus here of weight machines. Cardio is good, but I'd like to build some muscle as well.

• Option 2:  videos/Wii Fit games. There are a million of these available. Zumba, Gold's Gym, Insanity, TurboFire, Exerbeat, Just Dance . . . I have no idea which would work for me. I wouldn't have to drive to exercise, but I don't think I'd use them while everyone else is asleep. Many of them incorporate weight training using your own body weight, which I theoretically like, but I'm not sure how well it would work in practice.
• A benefit here is that you pay once and that's it. You can even borrow from the library. Yeah, I did that. Twice. I checked out two different fitness DVDs, and never put them in the player once.
• A big drawback is that I'm fairly uncoordinated. Yeah, I know, big surprise. Shut up. But I always hated aerobics, because following the actions was annoying.

At this point, I'm leaning toward the gym. It's a little more expensive, and I'd have to leave the house. But I know me, and I think I'd use that option more than the other.

#1 Thing I'm Thankful For: that my immediate family is healthy, and that my parents are both doing better. My mom is doing pretty well with chemo, and my Dad will hopefully be released from the rehab facility soon.

#2 Thing I'm Thankful For: Microwave Rice Packs. A minute and a half in the microwave, and I have deliciously warm feet when I get into bed instead of misery.

Like the white socks?

Both girls went out with separate sets of friends and had a good time. We got surprisingly few trick-or-treaters, especially considering that our neighbors said they saw a good 200 kids. The only thing I can think of is that we had a green light bulb in the porch light. It was kind of dim (and quite spooky), but I didn't think it was so dark that people would think we weren't handing out candy.

So we still have some candy left. Both girls made out like bandits, so there is tons of temptation around here. My plan is to limit myself to one piece per day. Most fun-size bars have fewer than 100 calories, so I can work that. I'm looking at a really substantial loss this week, and I'd like to not sabotage that.