It's a joke, but also a sincere temptation. I really could eat that whole bag. Of course, it would be over 1000 calories and 72 grams of fat. The Pecan Tassies that are my signature Christmas cookie are 100 calories each. In past years, I would eat three at a shot. Today, I ate one after lunch, very slowly, and I savored every bite.
Part of me hates this. Hates mindfulness, and would much rather just eat without thinking and without consequences. Sadly, the former is possible but the latter is not.
This afternoon, I took a risk. I had planned to try my dress on again tomorrow, but I decided to give it a go today. This had potential to backfire in a big way. My weight is up a little right now, and if I couldn't get it zipped, I knew I would be seriously bummed.
When it did zip, I was happy but also relieved. Don't get me wrong--it was tight, and I had no intention of even trying to sit down in it. But it zipped.
The zipper made it easier to ignore the Fail Voice. That's the voice that gleefully reminds me that I've lost essentially no weight this month, and am nowhere near getting below that magic 225 where I stalled last time. That's the voice that wonders why I don't just eat what I want for this ONE WEEK and get back on board next Monday, I could totally do that, no problem. And if I gained a few pounds or even ten, so what? It'll just come back off again once I'm working it.
Except that I've already lost it once. I don't want to have to lose it again and again. And again. A fluctuation of a couple pounds is reasonable, but that's it. I'm drawing a line in the sand. I'm going to keep working my plan, even if my results aren't optimal yet. Health is the goal here--losing weight is the happy side effect.
1 comment:
You look GREAT!!! Keep it up!
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