Color Blind, or Just Blind?

When Kanye West said, "George Bush doesn't care about black people," I agreed, but thought it would have been more accurate to say, "George Bush doesn't care about poor people."

I feel fairly certain that our president is just as happy to take money from black people as from white, and to advance their interests, as long as those interests coincide with those of other wealthy people. It's about money, not race.

But. That's what most white people think. Most black people disagree. Why is this?

There's talk of putting a WalMart Super Center fairly near the current Wal Mart in our area, on the site of a deserted mall in Livonia. I knew people were up in arms about it, because Wal Mart is notorious for killing surrounding small businesses. Maybe people don't like it, I thought, but something there is better than a big empty nothing.

I couldn't believe it this morning when I read an article in the local paper that said, "Bypassing the common practice of using code words or euphemisms when speaking critically of African Americans, some white residents expressed fears about people from mostly black Detroit coming to mostly white Livonia to shop and work, and suggested that Livonia would become a ghetto."

HUH? Where did that come from? And how is it that I keep forgetting that so many people feel this way? When I hear about local hate crimes, I feel sad, but know that it's the work of lone hateful idiots. Normal, rational people don't feel this way, right?

During the first mayoral debate, standing mayor Kwame Kilpatrick said, "In Birmingham, in Bloomfield Hills and all these places they do more meth, they do more ecstasy and they do more acid than all the schools in the city of Detroit put together." No one disputes that drugs are everywhere, but the comment was unsubstantiated and looked like he was trying to shift blame. (For the record, I am not a fan of Kwame Kilpatrick, and I hope Freeman Hendricks kicks his ass in the election.)

Still, some people aprove of his remarks and feel that he stands up for them. I think there are some who think that Freeman Hendricks is a puppet of the suburbs.

Another controversy is that Grosse Pointe school districts have recently required its students to reregister in order to prove they live within district boundaries. I understand that many feel this is a "keep the blacks out" move, but I see it as a sincere attempt to relieve overcrowding. My aunt used to use my grandmother's GP Woods address so that her daughter could go to a Grosse Pointe school. It bugged me then. If I'm paying higher taxes so my kid can go to a better school, I don't want 5 extra kids in the class from families who aren't contributing, and that includes white kids from St. Clair Shores as well as black kids from Harper Woods.

Several years ago in college, one of my friends posed the hypothetical question, "If you were walking down the street, and saw a black man walking toward you, would you cross the street?" I told her that I was too shallow to deal with skin color, and would probably look at what they were wearing first. "If I saw a bunch of rowdy white guys with tattoos & motorcycle gear on one side, and one black guy wearing a sweatshirt and carrying a backpack, I'd probably stick to the side with the black guy."

Maybe I just don't get it. I grew up in white bread Grosse Pointe (though I did go to school in Detroit for kindergarten & 1st grade). I graduated high school in ultra white bread Idaho. I currently live in a multi-racial neighborhood, but most of our immediate neighbors are white. Sarah had a couple black girls in her dance class over the summer, but I can't remember if any of them are in her current class. A few of our neighbors are elderly, and I'm curious about what kind of new neighbors we'll get when they move. I'm more concerned about "will they have kids the same age as my kids" than "will they be black or Middle Eastern or whatever."

Confession: one time, I told one of my friends that over the summer, she'd gotten brown as a "nigger." I still can't believe I said that, but I wanted to see what kind of reaction I'd get. Neither of my friends said anything about it, then or ever, though I saw them exchange a shocked look. That's a hard (embarassing, shameful) confession to make, and it's hard for me not to delete this paragraph.

There's no real point to this entry. I just don't understand why this is still an issue. I know that it's natural to see similarities and differences when you first meet people, and to try to categorize them, but doing that is getting in the way of living and prospering. Sadly, I don't see things turning around on a large scale. At this point, I don't think my kids notice skin color. I hope I can keep it that way.

Thanks, Everyone!

I talked to my mom a few minutes ago, and while her problem is not mastitis, neither is it inflammatory breast cancer. The docs that she spoke with feel that it is a long term side effect of the radiation treatment she recieved a few years ago. They'll follow up with a mammogram, but everything looks ok.

I really appreciate all the good wishes from everyone - it helped a lot.

Calendar Juggling

I'm teaching a day class next week and the week after that. I took it because, even though it's all day, every day (except the first Friday), it's very good money and only two weeks. I even thought, "Heck, maybe I'll do these once in a while as a semi-regular thing."

Then I looked at the calendar.

All my evening classes are getting pushed back by two weeks, because there's no way I'm teaching all day, coming home, and leaving again to teach at night. This works out for the best, though, because now they have time to get the word out to more people, and we should have a better turnout for those evening classes when they do start.

Lauren's dance classes will be ending right about the time I get home. I think on the first week, I'll be able to cut out an hour early, which will get me home in time. The second week, either my Dad will take her (I hope he can come over those days); we'll switch to the other day and Grammy can take her; or she'll miss it.

Story time is in the mornings, but I could switch her to a different day in the evenings. She could just miss it, but she really likes it.

Add to this the babysitter issues, critical meal planning and school planning that I'll need to do, and this "Working Mom" stuff is for the birds. I briefly thought about taking the next full time class as well, but I think I'll pass. I do hope they can get the Monday/Wednesday classes rolling, because two days a week is a very happy medium.

Today, I have a dentist appointment, I have to call the ped for Lauren, who sounds like a frog right now, I need to call my Dad back, I have a class tonight, and my mom is going to see a doc this morning.

I'm off to update my Outlook calendar!

Yeah, that was fun

Yesterday, a guy came to our front door saying that he'd been in the neighborhood trimming trees, and wanted to know if we wanted the dead one in the back taken down. "Sure, come give us an estimate." He suggested $400, which was about what I'd heard before. If not for the brakes on the car a while back, it would have been a done deal. He offered $200 to take off the big branches, leaving just the trunk. OK, that's not too bad, and then the major hazard will be gone, and we can get rid of the trunk next year.

So he's up in the tree like a squirrel, lopping off branches. Sure enough, one fell on the power lines, and ZAP! ripped it right out of the power pole behind the house. Jeff had asked him if was insured, and he said he was, but! - he didn't have his card with him. As we were getting information, it turns out he didn't have a driver's license, either. As I'm fuming that I don't want to give him a thin dime, Jeff wrote him a $75 check and said good bye. I couldn't even talk to him - I was afraid of what I might say.

I called Edison, and they said someone would be out "between now and 2." Alrighty! We borrowed our neighbor's generator, Jeff stayed home from his Bible study, and we kind of winged it for the rest of the night. Sarah got to break in her Incredibles flashlight a little earlier than planned, though. After the girls were in bed, Jeff & I watched Suspect Zero on his laptop, plugged in to the extension cord. He went to bed, but I stayed up reading/dozing on the couch to see when the guys got here.

They didn't come. I called Edison at 8, and they had no ETA for the repairmen, but "a crew has been assigned, so they should be on their way, if they're not there now."

At noon, I called Edison back. "Did they get lost?" The lady I talked to was very nice, and I realized that they thought we needed tree trimming first. Nooooo, that's what got us into this problem in the first place! The tree is absolutely not the issue! About 20 minutes after that, the tree trimmer guy showed up. Too bad they can't contact these guys, huh? He ripped some vines off the power pole, then left.

FINALLY, at about quarter after four, the Edison truck showed up. We have power again, and I can get my computer fix.

On the bright side, the guy didn't fall out of the tree and break his neck. He didn't drop a log through the roof of the garage. The wire came out of the pole, not the house, so it wasn't hot. We didn't get charged for the Edison call. (I still have to call the phone company, because that wire is sagging in a big way.)

We have an agreement to find (or make!) a No Soliciting Sign ASAP.

Frustrated

Although my mom tells me that my frustration energy would be better put toward prayers, I'm still pissed off on her behalf.

She's been jumping through hoops to get in to see a doc, and hasn't gotten anywhere. She's had financial appointments (yes, plural), only to discover that their income is too high by $1oo/week to qualify. So next she's calling the Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, and will hopefully get an appointment there soon.

The issue? One of her breasts is red, painful and swollen. At this point, the most likely culprits are a) mastitis (due to previous radiation therapy) or b) inflammatory breast cancer. Luckily, mastitis is MUCH more likely, because inflammatory breast cancer is some nasty shit. Of course, if it isn't mastitis, and she needs chemotherapy, etc., these few weeks could make a very large difference.

She's been taking colloidal silver (a natural antibiotic) for a while, and the redness & swelling have diminished, which is good news, but the only way to rule out cancer is a) a fine needle biopsy, b) a regular surgical biopsy, c) an ultrasound, or d) an MRI.

So I'm pissed at the health care system (she was actually suprised at how "insurance-driven" it all is) and concerned, but hoping for the best.

PORK TENDERLOIN WITH BALSAMIC-CRANBERRY SAUCE

For the original recipe, which involved roasting a pork tenderloin inthe oven: http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/recipe_views/views/100314?id=100314&kw=&action=filtersearch&QueryZip=%28%28cranberry%29+%3CIN%3E+%28CNContent%2Ctitle%29%29&Filter=recipe%2Dfilter%2Ehts&ResultTemplate=recipe%2Dresults%2Ehts&QueryText=%28%28cranberry%29+%3CIN%3E+%28CNContent%2Ctitle%29%29&Collection=Recipes&ResultStart=151&ResultCount=15&BrowseLink=%3CA+HREF%3D%22%22%3EQuick+Search%3C%2FA%3E+%26gt%3B+keyword%3A+cranberry

PORK TENDERLOIN MEDALLIONS WITH BALSAMIC-CRANBERRY SAUCE

salt & pepper
1 8- to 10-ounce pork tenderloin
1 ½ Tablespoons butter
½ cup chopped onion
1 Tablespoon chopped fresh rosemary
½ cup canned low-salt chicken broth
1/3 cup canned whole berry cranberry sauce
1 Tablespoon balsamic vinegar

Slice pork into 1 inch wide medallions. Season with salt & pepper. Saute pork in a large frying pan. Don't over cook - the meat should still have some resiliency when you push on it. Remove from pan to a plate, and cover with tin foil.

Melt butter in the same pan, and scrape up any bits that are stuck to the bottom. Saute the onion & rosemary until the onion is soft & translucent. Add the broth, cranberry sauce, and balsamic vinegar and whisk until the cranberry sauce is melted. Add any juice from the pork chops to the sauce. Boil the sauce until it has reduced enough to coat a spoon (according to the original recipe, about six minutes).

These amounts are supposed to serve two, so I always double it, and the sauce takes considerably longer to reduce. Of course, I also use vegetable broth instead of chicken. If I'm feeling ambitious, I'll make spaetzle to go with it, but noodles would be just fine. It's very tasty - I really like many pork/fruit combinations - and very impressive.

But of course!

Which Food Network chef are you?
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Proud of herself

We took the training wheels off Sarah's bike yesterday, and she was off! It only took about 15 minutes for her to get the hang of balancing and steering, as long as Jeff gave her a push to get started. Getting herself started was another story--she kept braking--and led to a lot of frustration, so we'll go back to it another day, after more practice.

Funny how things work out

So, we had to pay big bucks for getting the brakes fixed on the car. And our summer taxes (which were raised by a few hunderd dolalrs) are due shortly. And we're planning on having the lawn ripped out and sod put in at the end of the month.

So, our finances are a little tighter right now than we'd like them to be. We're not going to cancel our cable modem or DVR or Blockbuster subscriptions, but the wooden swingset has been put on hold, and we're skipping the baseball game Monday.

So, I called the landscape guy this afternoon, to see if we could do hydroseed instead of sod. He said that would be no problem, but that it would still be about $1800, because he'll still have to rip out the old lawn, and the roots, and such. Well, $1800 is a WHOLE lot better than $3000, so we jumped on it, though we won't have InstaLawn.

So, by incurring these extra expenses, we ended up saving money. We thought about going to the ritziest restaurant we could find to celebrate, but decided not to. ;D

August Homeschool Review

So, August. The first three weeks of school. Here's how it went.

Me:

I didn't do as well as I'd hoped with getting through certain lessons. Though we did hit Reading, Math and Spelling almost every day, Art, Science, Writing and German kind of fell by the wayside. I'm going to start doing more extensive lesson planning on the weekend, and printing out the worksheets we'll need in advance.

I'm also going to revive my old Learning Connection personality. When I first started working at a reading clinic while I was in college, I was pretty shy with people I didn't know well. The woman training me explained that quiet reserve would not help me with bored nine-year-olds. Then she said the Words That Changed My Life: "Act," she said, "like a game show host." A light bulb went off in my head, my inner goofball slipped her leash, and I started having a really good time. The Game Show Host needs to show up around here for school time, too.

Sarah: academically, I'm satisified so far.

She does ok with her reading. We're working through a lot of the Amelia Bedelia, Henry & Mudge, and Rookie Read-About Science series. Young Cam Jansen books are more challenging, and she doesn't like them as well, but I think that will start to change in a few months.

We're working through a 1st grade spelling list I found, set up for 32 weeks. The first week was so easy that I thought we could double up on the weeks, but that proved to be too much, so we're back to one set a week. Besides writing the words on the board, on the computer, etc, we're also working on alphabetizing.

Math is also ok, now that I'm not so worried about her using her fingers or a number line or some other manipulative to get to the answer. We do addition & subtraction flashcards, worksheets I print out, and a few online games. We're also doing some work on telling time, and will start on money soon.

Her attitude frequently leaves something to be desired, but I think a better attitude on my part will go a long way to help that.

Lauren: not much to report there. Too often, I have to ask her to stop yelling/talking or play in her room while I'm working with Sarah. The other day, we did some three letter word cards (a picture divided into three parts, with one letter from the word on each part; once you put the picture together, you can "read" the word.) She had fun and did ok with them--not reading, but identifying the letters. There are also some good online games for her.

This month, tap lessons, story time at the library, and (hopefully) Girl Scouts will start up. My stepsis and I want to start getting together every other week again for Cousin School, too. I'm also slated to start working two days a week, but that isn't until the end of the month.

Gibson

I found out today that they're planning to open next week, for at least a semester. They're still hoping for an endowment to continue. But since they didn't say anything about needing a computer teacher, I guess it isn't in their budget. I totally understand, though I am disappointed. I'm glad I have the other classes lined up!

Catching Up

What's going on around here these days:

• The final decision on Gibson is supposed to come today. If they haven't been able to confirm they'll be back yet, I don't have a lot of confidence that they will at all. It's sad, but I'm glad I have a backup day job, even though it won't start for a few weeks.
• We had to have the brakes in the Toyota fixed on Tuesday, to the tune of $600+. I'm really glad I was able to work even a few nights a week over the summer!
• I'm taking the girls to register for tap this morning. Earlier, Sarah said she didn't want to take tap anymore. I told her that was ok, but I was still signing Lauren up, because I knew she really wanted to take it. Mysteriously, Sarah changed her mind . . .
• We have another critter in the attic. Jeff is going to fix the hole in the soffit or gutter or whatever this weekend.

Sarah Incredible

I am so glad I didn't try making this. The boot covers, the gloves, the mask, the logo--it would all have driven me totally batty. The whole thing is a little baggy, but it should be fine with long underwear underneath, and if it looks like it'll be really cold, I'll make a fleece cape to go over it. By the way, this is her "force field pose."

Lauren keeps going back and forth between Pirate Captain Dora and "a princess." I'm going to get a few pictures together, and have her choose, and that will be the end of it.

Attitude Adjustment

No word yesterday about Gibson. But I realized that I'm really lucky, and am making too much of this. I have a job that I like that I can go back to, and if it doesn't work out, I have another potential job that I would also like. So instead of stressing, I'm glad that I have a good backup, and will wait and see what happens.

Today, it's swimming with Grammy, so I'm off to get everything ready! Thanks for the good thoughts, everyone!

Anxious

So I think I'm a little stressed out. Yesterday, I took Lauren to the ped to talk about potty training, and I started crying. Not big sobs, but a steady stream of waterworks. (Note: I'm a very emotional person, and cry easily at stuff on tv or in books) I got embarrassed and said I didn't know why I was so upset. Luckily, she totally understood. "It's stressful!" She had a reluctant potty trainer, too, at just about this age. She worked on potty training for a year and a half. Dear God, can you imagine? I'm going crazy after two months. Anyway, I got some good tips, and will start trying them soon - we have a busy weekend, so we might wait to start in earnest next week. Or not.

My big stressor right now is work. I should find out today if Gibson (the school I worked at last year) will be back this year or not. Apparently, their whole future hung on one person who could give them an endowment that would keep them going for another year or not. The meeting was Monday night, and my friend who works at the Professor PC office (Professor PC is the company I work for - they send me out to the various teaching jobs) is going to find out today. Could I call Gibson myself and ask what happened? Sure, but I don't want to.

I'm torn about going back to Gibson. There are a lot of good reasons to go back:

• I enjoy working with the kids (it was so sweet, a couple of the middle-schoolers signed my yearbook last spring with "please come back next year!")
• it sounds like they got the TV monitor working, so teaching would be a lot easier
• it's very close to home
• it's six hours a day, twice a week
• it's guaranteed work through June.

Unfortunately, Gibson is also a lot of stress. In addition to having to come up with my own lessons (don't get me wrong - I like writing my own lessons, but it is a lot more work), dealing with kids is more stressful than teaching adults.

And since it looks like Professor PC is going to start having day classes again, that could be a good alternative. Working with adults, from a textbook, requires considerably less effort. But the office is farther away, I'd only get four and a half hours a day (also twice a week), and once a session is over after a month, it's not a guarantee that we'll have more people sign up, though it looks good right now.

So if Gibson didn't get the endowment, the decision is taken out of my hands, and I don't have to feel guilty about maybe wanting to do something else. I do want them to get the endowment, of course. I want the kids to have the school they need, and the teachers to have their jobs. I'm just not sure what I want for me.

At this point, I'm hoping I can go back to Gibson. Of course, if I do that, then I have to make the decision about working nights. Working two days and two (or sometimes three) nights a week doesn't sound like a lot, but it exhausts me.

But I'm not going to think about that today. I need to take this one day at a time, and stop borrowing stress. The interest rate is too damn high.

When Jeff comes home from work . . .

he'd better have either a large bottle of liquor, a large bottle of pills, or a large box of chocolate.

I can't wait to go to work tonight.

Just a comparison

The pictures in the top row are from last year’s State Fair. Riding the Dragon Coaster, and catching fish at the DNR pond. The bottom row shows pictures from yesterday, doing the same activities.

If you click on the picture, it should take you to a larger version.

As promised, here is Sarah's first major sewing project. We made a drawstring bag for Sarah’s dance shoes this afternoon (of course, Lauren already wants to know where hers is, too—I told her that once she gets dance shoes, she’ll get a bag). It took about an hour, and Sarah sewed the bottom and side seams by herself, although I serged them after that. She also did about half the casing seam. She did a really good job, and really enjoyed it. Now I just need to figure out future projects, hmmmm . . .

Is that another gray hair I see?

I think I'm going to write a book called The Continuing Adventures of DangerGirl.

In our backyard, we have a child-sized table. Plastic top, metal legs, about 15 inches tall. Coincidentally, our concrete patio is also about 15 inches off the ground. Funny how no one ever noticed that before.

Today, Lauren noticed. While the girls were out playing, I heard a crash and a scream, and went running to the back door. Lauren came running to me, crying. She had set up the table right next to the patio so she could walk onto it. Isn't my girl just the cleverest little thing?

I'm sure falling hurt, but I didn't see any blood, and she seemed more scared than hurt (and upset that the table broke), so I cuddled her for a while, then made lunch. It was during lunch that I saw a huge scrape/road rash on her inner upper arm. I don't know what exactly she scraped it on, but it's relatively ugly. I washed it off, and she got some Kid's Tylenol & went to bed.

I'm hoping that she's learned from this. Yeah, I know - not likely.

We went up to a nature center today for the girls to have their pictures taken. Lots of cute poses, and I'll definitely take them back when the leaves turn to do my own shots. I got a few "preview" shots, which the photgrapher didn't seem to mind. Well he shouldn't, because I know mine won't turn out nearly as well as his. I still have a really hard time getting them both to look nice in the same picture, and had a lot of trouble with the exposure.

This sundress pattern is McCall's 4761, and I'm never making it again. It was something of a pain to put together, and the girls can't put them on without assistance. They were really cheap, though - $10 for the pattern & fabric, and $6 for the trim on the bottom (I'm probably the only one who will ever notice that trim, but I do love it).

Sewing on the Brain

Butterick 6659 + Purple, blue, green and white seersucker = totally the easiest thing I've ever made.

I'm going to get my Serger rethreaded today, so I'll be able to polish off the seams and they'll be all tidy. Both girls said they didn't like them yesterday morning, but both wanted to wear them last night. Good thing, because they're so big, I figure they'll be wearing them for the next five years or so!

I'm already thinking about Hallowe'en costumes, Christmas jammies (flannel backed satin, I think) and Christmas dresses (Daisy Kingdom makes some sweet patterns {4511 & 4901}, but even the smaller sizes take about 7 yards of fabric, eek!).

And in the true spirit of overachieving idiocy, the girls are getting their pictures taken at a nature center next Saturday. Wouldn't little eyelet sundresses be cute in an outdoor setting like that?

In spite of this "thinking ahead," I know I'll probably still be working on anything and everything at the last minute.

VBS

Vacation Bible School started today. I have two confessions.

1) If I'd realized how much "sit down on the carpet, get up to sing, sit down, get up, sit on the grass, get up, sit down, get up . . ." I don't think I would have volunteered to be a Crew Leader.

2) As we were driving up this morning, we went past my favorite cross stitch store and a Starbucks, and I wistfully thought of all the time I could have, alone, without thinking about all the things I should be doing. Over two hours a morning, every day for a week.

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to be helping out. I'm glad to be involved. But I'm also a little selfish, and would like to have that time for myself, too.

Covetousness

I forgot to mention that, in addition to the new puppy, we got to see another new venture of my brother & SIL (insert shameless plug here): http://www.potterymill.com/ She doesn't have pictures of my favorite stuff, here:

Honestly, I walked around thinking things like, "I want this, and that, and ooooh! an inkwell would make the perfect vase for violets in the spring! I'd love some more serving bowls, and a platter, a pitcher, and a cookie jar, and I have to remember to bring the girls out in the fall so we can make Christmas ornaments . . ."

I also really liked watching her work the clay into a bowl, even a basic one. She's not doing as many classes now, but I'd love a chance at the kick wheel. Yeah, because I need another hobby!

The Power of the Puppy

We were out visiting my brother and his wife tonight - check out the cute new puppy they got yesterday! He is so cute and sweet, and he loves my brother to death. All night long, his favorite place to be was asleep on Chris' foot. The kitchen floor, under the dining room table - if Chris' foot was still, Rufus was on it. He's a very mellow dog; he just hangs around and sleeps a lot, and lets you know "I'm a houn' dawg."

I have to say, the Power of the Puppy is really strong; he's so cute! Luckily, Jeff is immune to tPotP and there are no puppies in our immediate future.

Barely a month ago, when we first got to Florida, Sarah didn't want to put her face in the water, and wouldn't go to a depth where she couldn't touch.

Today, she kept going underwater, found a penny on the bottom of the pool (shallow end), swam almost the length of the deep end, and did a few underwater somersaults. I am astonished at how far she's come, just from three Fridays worth of swimming!

Lauren likes tiptoeing around the shallow end, but she greatly prefers the inflatable ring. For a while, she was jumping in all by herself, but by the end of the day, she only wanted to jump if someone was there to catch her or kind of "slither" into the water.

I can't wait to see what they're doing next week!

Shoulda seen that coming.

When we went to the library yesterday, I noticed a flyer that our Community Center is doing summer dance classes. There's no recital, it's just to get a kind of head start on the fall. I asked Sarah if she wanted to do dance or a sport like t-ball or soccer again, and she immediately said, "Dance!" Ballet was full, and she wanted tap over jazz, which works better with our schedule anyway.

Classes started last week, but the instructor said it was ok for her to start up anyway. We got there just before class started, and luckily the instructor had some tap shoes available (she took orders last week, so Sarah will get new ones in September).

When Lauren saw the shoes, and the class, she got so excited. I'd been telling her that she would take classes when she's older (she can start in September with the regular class), but she still thought she would be able to get out on the floor and dance with everyone else. She danced at the Chuck E. Cheese birthday party last month, she dances at home all the time, so why should this be any different?

Well, it is different. As I took her out of the classroom, she was sobbing. She'll play the boo hoo sometimes, but it's obviously fake. This was sincerely confused and heartbroken, poor thing. We went to pay for the class and get a drink of water, and when we came back, she was glued in the open doorway, swinging her feet to do the "shuffle step" along with the big girls, and kept asking for her princess shoes (they have hard soles, so make noise when you walk).

There are six more classes, and luckily there is a very nice playground on the other side of the parking lot, so Lauren & I will spend our time there while Sarah's in class, because it's too pathetic otherwise.

Three more steps

This morning after breakfast, I waited until Dora the Explorer was ready to start, set it to record, and told Lauren it was time to sit on the potty. She could watch Dora when she was done. I listened to some complaints, read a few stories, and CHEERED when (38 minutes later) she peed again!

Before lunch, I took her in again, and it only took 5 or 10 minutes for her to go. After her nap, she went almost immediately. So I think we really are making some progress!

One step forward . . .

So Lauren used the toilet this morning (and got HUGE amounts of praise, from everybody - I even considered telling the FedEx guy), but then wet her pants and pooped in yet another pair within the hour tonight while I was at work. It's a good first step, though! Tomorrow morning, I'm going to encourage her to drink a LOT of juice, then sit with her in the bathroom for however long it takes.

When did that happen?

One day while we were swimming in the pool in Florida, Lauren said, "Take me to the three, momma!" I looked around, and sure enough, there was the number three on the side of the pool. Hm. "Lauren, come here - what's this number?" "Five!" What about this one?" "One!" Holy crap, she recognizes numbers up to ten. When we went back in the house, I got out a coloring/number worksheet I'd brought for her to do while Sarah did school work, and sure enough, she circled the right number most of the time.

Today, we went to the drugstore. "I see the number (something) and the number (something) {I wasn't paying close attention at that moment} and the number S!" Yeah, we were at CVS. So tonight, I wrote out the alphabet, one at a time, on the white board, to see how she would do, and she got about two thirds of them. Once in a while she'd say a number instead, but overall it was pretty good.

With some nervousness, I wrote the word "BUS" on the board. She spelled it out, but didn't get that it was a word. Frankly, I was relieved. She'll sit and "read" books all the time, but it's not real reading, it's more like reciting something she's heard a million times. And it's not like she's picking up on Sarah's schooling, because most of the time she's such a chatterbox that she has to go play in her room so Sarah can concentrate while she's working.

So now I'm not quite sure what to do with her, other than keep reading to her and to say, "Way to go, Cookie!"

More Florida Pictures

You know, I noticed more that one gas station had a sign on the pumps that if you drive off without paying for your gas, you can lose your license. And yet, people who drive drunk keep on driving . . .

Edit: I forgot to mention the most memorable line of the whole vacation, from Lauren: "Can I drive?" Three times, she asked, like it was the most natural thing in the world!



This is my current favorite picture from our vacation. We were at Sanibel Island to look for shells. And yes, there are TONS of shells there! Most of them are bivalves instead of the uber-gorgeous spirals, but still really pretty, and of course Sarah collected quite a few. Lauren was more interested in throwing shells back INTO the Gulf. Yeah, big suprise there . . .








Jeff's Uncle Dale (who is only five years older than Jeff himself) took us to Universal Studios - he works in the accounting department, so gets deals on tickets. We started a little slowly: Sarah freaked out at the thought of going on the ET ride once we got in there. It was dark and kind of creepy looking, so I wasn't really suprised.





Later, we went on the Woody Woodpecker rollercoaster. Even though it was in the kiddie section, it was a pretty substantial coaster! The girls liked it so much we went on it a second time.
We also did the Shrek 4D movie, which Sarah had to be talked into a little. I told her that if she got scared, she could take the glasses off. I think she had them off for most of the show, but at least she sat through it, and said she enjoyed it when it was over.

I have pictures from the waterproof camera to develop & scan, so I'll post those later. It was really interested that when we got to the pool at my mom's place, Sarah wasn't interested in going in the deep end. Then some other kids showed up and started frolicking around, and suddenly she wanted to be out there with them. "Not until you can swim on your own." "OK, I'll learn to swim today." And she really put a lot of effort into it, and made a huge amount of progress. She still isn't allowed in the deep end, but she swam the width of the pool (16 feet, I think) in Orlando a few days after that.

Our drive home had a very sad, stressfull incident. As we were heading into Atlanta, I was driving, and told Jeff I wanted to take the bypass, because I hate downtown Atlanta. There are too many lane changes, and since it was after three, I thought there would be a lot of traffic. He mentioned a few times that it went way out of the way, but I said that as long as we didn't get bumper solid traffic the entire way, I'd consider it coming out ahead.

We got on the bypass, and he admitted we were moving along really well. Within five minutes of saying that, we ran into terrible traffic. Slowed way down, until we came up pretty close to the scene of an accident. I could see a little white car that looked pretty crunched up, and a small semi in the left side of the road. There were concrete dividers, so nothing had gone into the oncoming lanes, but it still looked pretty bad.

The police showed up, and no one else got through after that. They put the yellow tape up, and when Jeff got out to look around, he saw there there were also cars on the other side of the road, maybe seven vehicles in all. We couldn't leave the car running, so the girls were getting pretty hot & crabby (Sarah really was a trouper, but it was too much for Lauren). We let them sit together in the front seat so they didn't have the sun directly on them. I was talking to some people who said they were still trying to get people out of the vehicles, and there were at least three dead people that they hadn't even tried to get out yet.

Eventually, the police started turning cars around so we were facing the other direction. I noticed that even once everyone was turned around, we still weren't going anywhere. What's the point, I thought. But we finally started moving, and got within sight of the on ramp where we'd be exiting. Then I noticed that some cars were headed back past us again. Within 50 yards of freedom, they turned us around again!!! The police officer said that it was easier now that they'd opened a lane to go back that way than to deal with a detour. At that point, I was so angry and frustrated that I could barely speak. And again, once we were turned around, we didn't move for a good 20 minutes.

Finally we got back up to the accident and got through. All the vehicles were still there, and I got a better look at the white car. Dear God, it looked like it had been stomped on by Godzilla. The entire back was gone. I couldn't help it, I cried then and I'm crying now thinking about it. Any people in the back (that's where carseats go) never had a chance.

Jeff found an article in the Atlanta Journal. We didn't sign up to read the whole article, but the blurb reads, "The truck driver involved in an I-285 accident that killed three people and injured seven on Friday was driving under the influence, DeKalb County police said Saturday.
Ephantus Gathuru, 49, of Woodstock was charged Saturday with three counts of vehicular homicide and one count each of reckless driving and driving under the influence, according to Officer Cory Hughes. Gathuru was being held in the DeKalb County Jail without bond."

We were there for over 2 1/2 hours, so instead of spending the night in Knoxville, we slept in Marietta. The next morning, we woke up early, and made up our lost time, getting home by 6.

We did have a great time in Florida, but the way home was so exhausting, and I'm really glad to be back. I'll keep posting more pictures, and no more sad stories.

Miscellaneous

We're on our way to Orlando today, so less internet access. :(

We're hoping to catch up with Evil Amy & her bunch, but not sure when, due to still being kind of up in the air with our plans regarding seeing my grandparents in Tampa.

We went to a Jacksonville Suns baseball game last night. They played the "Biscuits." Who comes up with these names? The girls lasted through their typical three innings, and Jeff got to see three more innings from the outfield playground while the girls played.

I got a mini Serger lesson yesterday. I've had my mom's machine for about a year now, but have been too busy/intimidated to do anything with it. Mom showed me the basics last night, and now I think I'm even more intimidated! For now, I'm leaving it at the generic settings she has set, and will use it strictly for straight seams. I really should take a class, which is what she suggested in the first place.

We went to St. Augustine on Wednesday, which was kind of a bust. We didn't get out of here early enough, so we were there in the middle of the day. The kids got really hot - Sarah's face was so flushed, she looked like she had major burns, even though I knew it was just from the heat. We'll go back again sometime, but plan better.

The Tick is back! Jeff & I were watching Cartoon Network late last night and when I saw that The Tick was on, I practically fell out of my chair with happiness. I adored that cartoon in the early nineties, which was loads better than the live action show. As soon as we get home, I'm DVR-ing every single episode. I have to tell my brother about this.

Ah, that's better

We went to the beach today. Yay for the beach! You know, when you go to the ocean, even if you plan to go in "just up to your knees," you will get soaked, because the tide coming in means waves. And if you want to get those adorable pictures of your children, you will get in the water. And your denim shorts will get thoroughly drenched and take forever to dry, and your husband will laugh at you for not wearing a bathing suit because you thought you could stay dry. Yeah.

Also, Sarah finally pulled her incredibly loose font tooth this morning. Hey, that reminds me - I have to go hit Jeff up for a buck . . .

Got the car fixed yesterday. Apparently the steel belts on the front tires broke. And the alignment got a little whacked, but it was mostly the tires. Cost about $250 to fix, but at least we got two new front tires out of the deal. And the car no longer feels like an unbalanced washing machine!

Sarah made huge strides (or should I say "strokes") in swimming tonight. It's amazing what watching a bunch of other kids frolicking around will do for her motivation. Lauren was trying, too, but never willing let go of the death grip on my shirt. I hate to think what she was grabbing onto when Jeff had her.

The 27-exposure waterproof camera that was supposed to last us the whole trip has two exposures left on it. Digital has really spoiled me - I hated not knowing if I got the shot I was trying for or not! I'll know sooner than I'd planned, I guess!

Oy

Wow, that was a drag.

The first day of driving went smooth as silk. The second day of driving was the same, until about 1PM, south of Atlanta, where we ran into a traffic jam, presumably due to an accident. But we kept moving at a pretty good clip, so it wasn't too bad.

Then about 90 miles south of Atlanta, we came to a dead stop. Found out that there was a bad accident about 5 miles up, and they were waiting for the helicopter, which is never a good sign. Sarah got to pee in the woods for the first time, too, when she announced she had to go NOW.

We also got torrential downpours at least 5 or 6 times, which I'm sure contributed to the traffic.

When we stopped to get gas in Valdosta, we noticed that the alignment on the car was wonky - at lower speeds, it felt like driving a washing machine with an unbalanced spin cycle.

Then there was a third tie-up/accident just over the Florida line. Then there were not one but two accidents on Florida Highway 10. We finally got to my mom's house after 9PM.

But we're here now; none of those accidents involved us, and Jeff & my stepdad are out getting the car looked at. Hopefully, the worst of vacation is out of the way.

"What make me crazy," in three parts

Part One:
It makes me crazy when the program I'm teaching is not only NOT the version I know, it is NOT the version for which I have a book. This not only makes it harder for the students to learn the program, it makes me feel utterly incompetent. This is worse still when it happens not once, but twice. So far.

Part Two:
It makes me crazy when I leave a voicemail for someone, asking for information for a third party (pricing on the yearbooks), and that person calls the third party to work it out with them. Hey, I'm thrilled to be eliminated as the middleman, but it would be nice if someone thought to tell me about it. You know, keep me in the loop.

Part Three:
It makes me crazy when my own words come back to haunt me. "Always have someone proofread your work," I tell my students. "They will always catch something you missed." Last night, as I was on my way out to teach in the evening, I got a call from the principal, telling me there were some typos in the yearbook. "Which pages?" I asked with alarm. "Too many to mention." So this morning, instead of taking Sarah to the library to get her library card, I get to go back to school to find my errors, fix them, resave them, and resend them.

On a good note, I talked to the woman who is printing the yearbook last night, and she is totally on top of things, so although we're going to have to forgo the color proof due to time constraints, we should get all the books by Tuesday. I am really nervous about this, though, worrying that she won't have the most recent version of all the pages. I'm tempted to resend all 48 pages, just to be sure, but that would truly take forever and a day, especially if I have to do it from the school's old, slow machine.

Unfortunately, this also makes Jeff crazy. "Why do they have a substitute doing all this? You bite off too much." Agreeing with him doesn't really help the situation.

Exhale

It's done. The Gibson yearbook is finally done. Well, my part of it is done. Well, all the pages are done. I do still need to contact some people about the assembly and timing and ordering, etc, but at least all the pages are out of my hands. I am so relieved!

Shhhh . . .

Listen. Do you hear that? That lack of sound? That, my friends, is the sound of my children at a sleepover. I have awesome in-laws, I really do.

So how am I going to celebrate my freedom tonight? I'm going to work. :/ And tomorrow, I'm going into work early and staying late so we can hopefully make some progress on the yearbook.

Spanglish

Wow, what a great movie. Adam Sandler - who knew idiot boy could act?

Not your typical fantasy

Every time I go to teach at the gifted school, I think about sending Sarah there. I love homeschooling her, but I still think about what it would be like if she could go there. They really address a lot of the reasons I homeschool (small classes, child led learning, etc). Never mind that I have no idea how we would pay the $9K/year, or even if she's eligible. It's something I think about, in a kind of daydreamy way.

If we were parents of a child in this school, we'd be doing some volunteer work to help out. For instance, I'd redo their website immediately (it's embarassing, frankly). Right now, I'd like to redo the site, but I'm not going to devote a lot of time for something I'm not going to get paid for. I'd like to do it, but I don't have the time right now.

Here's where the "fantasy" comes in:
If I were teaching there and Sarah were a student, I could drag Jeff in to work on the computers (he just replaced the power supply on our PC tonight) as his volunteer stuff. As it is, about 40% of the computers aren't working at any one time (they're older models, donated, and could use some new parts). It would be so nice if I had my own personal IT guy at school/work!

Huff

When they built the new library last year, I was so glad to see a separate children's wing. The old building was very open, so it was easy for Lauren to "escape," and the noise must have been disturbing to the other patrons.

Now, since the new library does have a children's wing, well apart from most of the rest of the building, complete with blocks to make a town and a puppet theater, wouldn't it make sense that kids can use it and be kids? I don't mean be hooligans, I mean talk in regular voices.

When we got there today, there was one other little boy about Lauren's age with an older man I'd guess was his grandpa. I didn't see any other adults at all while walking back to the kids' area, though I didn't look to the other half of the building.

While I was looking for books for Sarah to read to me this week, the three kids were talking and playing with the blocks. Not yelling, but not whispering either. The kid's desk librarian came over and told them they had to keep it down. She wasn't mean about it, but I thought it was a bit excessive. True, Lauren has a hard time with volume control, but I really thought she was doing ok. After that, I kept shushing her and reminding her that she had to be even more quiet.

When they're waiting to start story time, most of the kids get a little loud and sometimes rowdy, and nobody bats an eye. I'm sorry to see that preserving the perfect sanctity of silence in the library is more important than enjoying it.

/rant

On a good note, Sarah is very excited to start the summer reading program! Prizes for reading books? Wow!

Finally!

I wish I knew the trick to getting good, sharp pictures of close up objects like this.

The sad part is, it sat on my dresser for two years, untouched. When I finally picked it up again, it took a week to complete.

The text below their names (my brother & SIL) says, "A wedding lasts but a day. A marriage lasts a lifetime." The original text on the pattern was about new beginnings, adding to the circle of the family, etc. In addition to not fitting their lives, there wasn't any room for their names or the date.

Now I can start working on the projects for my most recent neice and nephew, and Lauren!

Oh, my - decadence

We went to Jeff's cousin Kristi's graduation yesterday. After the ceremony, we went to The Holly Hotel for dinner. I've never had a seven course meal, delivered one tiny course at a time, and I was so relieved that our babysitter could stay later than we'd planned, since it all went very slowly.

The menu:

Amuse Bouche

Pickled Chef Creek Oysters, Hiyashi Salad, Cucumber Cappellini

Soup

Roasted Chicken Broth

Salad

Mizuna Salad, Bluefin Crab Timbale, Passionfruit Vinaigrette

Foie

Roasted Foie Gras, Caramelized Pears, Pumpkin Seed Oil, Duck Sauce

Fish

Blue Nose Snapper, Poached Leeks, Seabeans, Sauce American

Sorbet

Iced Pink Champagne

Entree

Roasted Squab, Baby Morels, Ramps, Glazed Beets, Black Fig Molasses

Cheese

Delice de Bourgogne and Garrotxa

Gingerbread Crackers, Thyme Caramel, Yellow Watermelon

Dessert

Chocolate Zabaglione Parfait, Bitter Orange Chocolate Sauce, Poppyseed Florentina

The cheese was a bit too rich for me after everything else, but the rest of it was heavenly! They already knew about Jeff's poultry allergy, so they substituted beef dishes (very nice tender roulade for his entree). A lot of people didn't really get into it - Jeff's mom hates fish, so she didn't eat much - but I thought it was really cool. Not something I'd want to do often, but a big time treat for me!

Movies

The two most recent movies we've seen have been Donnie Darko and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. They're kind of odd movies, but Jeff & I both really enjoyed them. The rabbit in Donnie Darko freaked me out at first, so much that I wouldn't even look at the screen if I thought I would see it. By the end of the movie, once I realized what was going on, it didn't bother me so much. They're both good, thought-provoking movies. Anyone have any other suggestions for good movies out there?

Fun afternoon

Yummy!

When I started making this, I figured that - as usual - Sarah would eat her required one bite and fill up on plain pasta and raw vegetables. Instead, she had seconds and said, "Can you make this for dinner every night?" Jeff and Lauren thought it was OK, so it's being added to the regular line up.

Shrimp & Green Beans

4 tsp canola oil
1 1/2 lb shrimp
4 garlic cloves
1 1/2 Tbs fresh ginger
1/2 pound fresh green beans
8 oz pineapple chunks
1/3 c. chicken broth
2 Tbs teriyaki sauce
1/4 tsp salt
3 scallions

The basic recipe is to saute the shrimp, take them out of the pan, saute the garlic & ginger, add the other ingredients (except scallions), cook for a bit, add the shrimp back, and top with the scallions.

Since Meijer had "buy one, get two free" on frozen pre-cooked shrimp, I skipped the first step. I hate peeling raw shrimp, so it worked out better anyway. I also cooked up some pasta and threw that in (putting the shrimp in the colander before pouring the pasta & hot water over it goes a long way to thaw it quickly) to make it a complete meal.

I have GOT to get a No Soliciting Sign

I mean, really. No, I am not going to let you come in my house and demonstrate a vaccum cleaner. I'm sure you're on the level (I can see other guys dressed similarly walking around the neighborhood), but I'm not letting a stranger into my house.

Simultaneously Embarrassed & Proud

We've been looking for a church to attend, which means going to new churches to try them out. Last week it was a Lutheran version that didn't really do it for me, yesterday it was a United Church of Christ. I've seen the UCC commercials that stress acceptance of everyone (the "controversial" ones, that dare to show two women together), and this is a church that our neighbors have gone to and we went to once a few years ago for a Christmas service.

Lauren stayed in the nursery, but Sarah sat with us for about 20 minutes of the service. Then the pastor/minister/reverend called all the kids up to the steps, where they sat and talked. Sarah had never really seen him or any of the other kids before, never experienced anything like this before. And yet . . . guess which kid had the most answers and spoke with the loudest voice? Yeah. Hey, it was a good conversation starter with the other members of the congregation after the service! And it's not like she's the only kid to ever act that way.

When Jeff & I talked about it later, we realized that we both felt the same way: at the same time kind of embarassed that she was dominating the conversation, but also proud that she was self-confident enough to hold her own with an adult. That's our girl!

Dress up

Lauren got her birthday present from my mom & stepdad yesterday, so we let her open it last night. Oh my god, it is too cute/hilarious. Colorful is probably the best way to describe it.

Wow!

Yesterday, when Jeff got home from work (like over an hour early) we all met him at the door and he told me he had something for me.

"Drugs?" I asked hopefully (it had been a really long day).

He laughed and shook his head and told me to close my eyes. At that point I figured it was flowers, because once in a while he'll do that.

Then I felt a plastic container in my hands. It was an MP3 player! "Oh my God! What is this for?"

He said that he felt really bad that we didn't get my charm bracelet fixed and new "Lauren" charm for Christmas, and one of his work buddies brought his MP3 in, so he went out and bought one!

He knew I've been wanting one for when I walk or work out, and we'll also be able to take it with us to Florida, so we won't have to have 500 CDs in the car for music variety.

Then he told me I was absolutely not allowed to ask how much it cost. Uh-oh, that means it was really expensive. But I promised not to peek at the bank statement, or look it up on the website to find out how much it was.

Now I need to go figure out how to play with my new toy! Woo hoo!

Things I Miss

I realized that there are a few things that I used to have or do that have "gone away" due to my recent change in direction of my habits.

I miss:

• being able to run through the parking lot into a store when it's cold
• crossing my legs at the knee instead of putting an ankle up on the opposite knee (I can still do this, but don't)
• all those great new clothes I got for my birthday (tweed pants, why have I forsaken you?)
• feeling like I look pretty good/enjoying having my picture taken (a reporter came to work last week to take pictures of the computer lab, and I wasn't happy about it)
• my winter coat being way too big
• that happy feeling I got from eating right, getting exercise, and generally taking care of myself (this is the biggest one - why would I stop doing stuff that I know makes me happy?)

So I'm going to start taking care of myself again. I don't know if I'll get on the scale - I usually need that reinforcement in order to stick to it - but just for today, I'm going to stay out of the leftover cake and candy from the party yesterday. I'm going to get some kind of exercise. I'm going to make a good choice for lunch when our friend Rob comes over and we all go out. Right now, I'm going to go make some oatmeal. I think I'm finally tired of fried eggs & toast. Thank God.

sniff . . .

My big girl!

OK, Everybody - Repeat After Me

If you say you'll bring cookies to your sister's Valentine's Tea Party Saturday, and you realize you're coming down with a cold and are a little overwhelmed at life in general, and you try to decide if you should make them or go out and buy them . . . GO OUT AND BUY THEM.

I made a very nice, butter/cream cheese dough, cut out a bunch of hearts, even did a "windowpane" for a few (smashing Dum Dums suckers to pieces is harder than you might think), colored some with red food coloring, left some white, etc. Oh so pleased with myself. Until I started cleaning up and putting everything away. It wasn't until I put away the measuring spoon that I realized I didn't use it. I forgot the baking soda. They still taste fine, they just didn't rise very much and I think the texture is a little off. Still, it's a keeper recipe, and I didn't have to leave the house to get them.

What a week

This week has been too busy, too crazy, too stressful. I'm wondering if I should start working all this much, but I think it's just the getting everything together all at once timing that's bad.

The rundown:

Monday - Drive Jeff to work so I can meet with the Home Economist at Hancock to talk about a sewing class. I found out what I need to make up for flyers, but can't get my printer to work, so I have to find a way to get to Kinko's.

Tuesday - Grammy came to babysit while I take in the controlled chaos at the school. I also get to be the yearbook advisor, fun! There are fewer than 60 kids there, so I suggested using www.mypublisher.com. I'm going to take in a hardcover and a pocket book when I go back in next Friday to see if they think that would work and parents would be willing to pay for it. The thought of putting Sarah into a "regular" school is crossing my mind. Also went to tutor PowerPoint in the evening.

Wednesday - Drive Jeff to work so Lauren can go to story time. She loves story time - asked the story lady at least 5 times in the 20 minutes we were there eary when it was going to start - but won't sit still during the reading. I made it to the gym, but only for half an hour on the elliptical. Katrina came over to babysit, bringing her snowboard, which both girls thought was the bomb. Pictures below. Pizza for dinner! Thought about going to Kinko's, but was too tired, desperate to watch Lost (the one episode I missed), and endured about half of the State of the Union Address. I swear, if they would limit the standing ovations to an even dozen, the could have had time to show Alias.

Thursday - oh, that's today! Got to the gym by 6:30, half an hour on the elliptical. Still eating too much. Took the girls sledding. Made banana muffins, with assistance. Did some school work (first time this week, bad homeschool mommy!) Going to get ready for work tonight (part deux of PowerPoint) in about half an hour.

When did I get so popular?

So after all last year of working hardly at all (I made less than $2500), I'm steadily working Tuesday and Thursday nights, with potential craft classes coming up, and I get a call from my friend Dawn at work yesterday. The charter school where I worked last spring is losing their computer teacher in a month. Guess who they requested replace her?

I'm flattered that they asked for me, and eager to get make some more cash, but I'm trying to figure out the logistics.

• The school is only half a mile away, so I could walk there. In fact, I would be walking there (until we get the second car back in the spring) so that we could avoid driving Jeff to work any more often than necessary.
• The pay is $18/hour. Good, not great. Part of that includes 1½ hour lunch duty, which usually only pays $6/hour, so this balances it out ok. It also includes a half hour prep time.
• I don't know if the hours (10:00 - 3:00, though I'd need some walking time on top of that, on Tuesdays & Fridays) will work for our regular babysitter. I'm going to call Jeff's mom and see if she'd be interested in coming once a week for some Grandma Time. If that works out, there's the added bonus that I will generally keep the house much cleaner, heh.
• Classes run until June 29, kinda long. Since we've already scheduled Florida vacation for the last week of May and first week of June, I'd have to see if they could work around that. Or we might cut it a little short. The other option is to go to Florida in July. Or August. Not an attractive option. I'm hoping that they'll want me to come back in the fall, so I wouldn't want to wait until September, as we've done in the past.

I hope it works out. The steady, reliable money would be welcome, and I enjoyed working there before. Still, when I'm teaching I'm much more prone to insomnia (can't get my brain to slow down enough to sleep), and this would be a big change.

I'm so excited!

Last time I was in the fabric store, I noticed they had a flyer up that they needed instructors for things like knitting, crochet, sewing, etc. The manager was the one that cut my fabric, so I asked her about it, and got the number. I called and left a message, and the woman in charge of this called me back this morning. I've got a meeting scheduled with her a week from Monday to talk about setting this up, yay!

I have to come up with a write up/flyer to get people to sign up, and take a couple examples of my work (they're also interested in cross stitch and scrapbooking classes, so I'll take those as well). Hee, I have no idea what I'm going to take, but I'm really excited!

It'll just be a basic sewing class, which is perfect for me. I may not have been sewing for very long, but I've been teaching for a long time, and I really think I'm going to ejoy this.

If I can get six students to a class, I'll be making $10 more per hour than I do right now teaching computers. If I only get four, the pay rate will end up abou the same. That doesn't account for my travel time, though. The store is only about five minutes from home, so I'll spend a lot less time in transit. This could finally be the thing that gets me out from under the thumb of my current job.

Eeee, I can't for March to get started on this!

Not Nerdy, but definitely not hip.

Humph. I'm much more nerdy than this indicates. I am not techno-nerdy, but my essential nerdiness remains.

Hey, I did it!

I actually woke up before 6 this morning, got out of bed, drove to Bally, did half an hour on the elliptical (a bit slower than Wednesday, but still faster than I go on the treadmill) and 15 minutes on the weight machines, all upper body. No ab work, which is probably what I need the most. I'll do lower body weights tomorrow. And abs, sigh.

By the way, getting there at 6:20 did not guarantee me a parking spot right by the front door, much to my disappointment. However, the number of people walking through the parking lot did make me feel pretty safe.

While I was on the elliptical, I had a direct sight line to the stair machines and treadmills. There were a few people on those machines, and I noticed that they were there when I started, and stayed on through most if not all of my time on the elliptical. Man, those people were like machines! They never slacked, and had a pretty good pace going. When the guy on the treadmill got off, he went and got on a bike behind me! The woman on the stair machine did it not only the regular way, but backwards, which is hard, at least for me.

I thought, "this is what fit people do. This is how they act. They are consistent and invest time in staying healthy." When the freebie pass is done in March, I think I'm going to miss it, even though I will be happy to get back to my evening walks again.

Elliptical Machine

Kicked. My. ASS.

Now I need to find some kind of motivation to get my ass up at 6AM so I can go in before Jeff goes to work. I don't know what kind of motivation will be that strong. Suggestions?

Bally

I went to Bally last night, after going to Target to buy a pair of sweat pants. I learned how to use the eliptical machine (cool!), but unfortunately, the child care deal is not included in this, in spite of what I was told on the phone yesterday. This annoys me, but not a lot, since I would have used it once a week at most.

The "best" time for me to go will be early in the morning, before Jeff goes to work. The problem with this is days like today, when it is -2 degrees. Let's see, get out of a warm bed to go sweat, or use the treadmill here at my leisure and never have to leave my cave? Not a tough call, nifty as the elliptical machine is.

Of course, the free membership only lasts through March, so if I'm going to take advantage of it, I'm going to have to bite the bullet. Yum.

And on we go

As of today:

Yesterday, I did have a fair number of Cheetos, but I counted them, and I stopped myself instead of eating the rest of the bag, so I consider that a snack, not a binge. Doesn't sound like much, but it's a victory for me!

That's a relief.

Turns out that the lock was messed up because of the cold after all. Jeff put the car in the garage (after shoving a bunch of stuff to the side & back), and after a few hours, checked it again. It was fine, and still ok when I went shopping last night. I hope being in a cold parking lot all day tomorrow while he's at work doesn't mess it up again.

Yesterday I got half an hour on the treadmill, but also had a binge again. Today, I'm going to try to get my exercise in the morning, because that does seem to make a difference with me. I already had Chex cereal for breakfast, but have no idea what I'm going to eat for the rest of the day.

National Discovery Health Challenge

Today is the first weigh in, and if I can get the car door to close properly (Jeff went out late last night for Taco Bell, and now the lock is either frozen or broken), I'm going to meet my sister there. I think that this kind of weekly accountability will help. Also, I'm going to try to get some information about the free trial Bally membership.

Yesterday: got the fruits & vegs, got the dairy, got the water, got the exercise (video at 7:30 PM). Also had a good sized binge. I'm determined to make that an isolated incident.

Edit: looks like I'm weighing in online. I really thought the lock was probably just frozen, but after looking at it, it does appear to be broken. Ducky. So we have to wait until Monday and somehow get it someplace to fix it and hope it doesn't cost a mint.

. . . and again today.

Yesterday was ok. I didn't get any exercise, but I didn't eat a half a loaf of Italian bread (buttered), either. I had reasonable snacks, and didn't binge. I got my fruits & veggies, and turned down the pizza that Jeff brought home for dinner (note to self: if you're going to give him the option of "I'm having soup, you and the girls can have what you want," don't be surprised when he acts on that).

So I'm going to do this again. TODAY, I will get my fruits & vegetables. I will drink my water. I will exercise in the morning, before the day gets away from me. I will stick to reasonable portions. These are my choices for today.

Just for today

I'm going to stick to the plan. Just for today, I'm going to get my damn fruits & vegetables and drink my water. Just for today, I'm not going to eat every freaking thing I can find. Just for today, I'm going to exercise, even if it's only a video. I'm just going to get through today. That's it.

Obsession

I realized that in regards to eating/exercise/my health in general, I have two speeds: Obsession, and To Hell With It All.

I know that "obsession" is not a healthy, balanced attitude. But I've realized that unless I spend a good part of my day thinking about what I'm going to eat, when I'm going to exercise, how I want to look in two months or five months or whatever, I spend that time compulsively eating. Maybe I need a new term. It's not "obsession," it's just "thinking about what I'm doing." Yeah, thinking about it pretty much non stop. Still sounds like obsession, doesn't it?

I used to believe that I could relax a little and stay on top of things without it being a major part of my life. That's not true. I need to devote a lot of energy, a lot of my attention, to this.

As Requested:
Cold Sesame Noodles (single serving)
Mix 1 Tablespoon peanut butter, 1 teaspoon sesame oil, 1 Tablespoon soy sauce, and 1 clove of garlic, pressed. I add a few shakes of red pepper flakes and a tiny bit of powdered ginger. You can add some rice wine vinegar, too - about a Tablespoon. Then I add my cooked pasta (I use 2 oz uncooked spaghetti) and vegetables. I blanch some broccoli by throwing it in with the pasta for the last couple minutes of cooking, and I dice some red or yellow peppers and throw them in raw. You can use a little more peanut butter, and if the sauce is too thick, mix in a little water at a time. Soooooo good.

When my kids shop

This is what they come up with.
.
My uncle gave each of the girls a Toys R Us gift card for Christmas, so last night we took them to pick out what they wanted. I wasn't at all suprised that Lauren wanted a dress up dress, but was a little surprised that it had to be this dress, as opposed to any of the other (slightly less expensive) styles. It's cute as hell, though, and she's probably going to live in it until it falls apart. Also, for $20, it's a pretty good deal. What I want to know is why they don't make these in my size?

I was a little suprised that Sarah had zero interest in the dress up clothes. Instead, she wanted this desk lamp, which is now on the headboard of her bed. She loves the lamp in Lauren's room (which used to be her room), so it makes sense that she wants a small lamp instead of the overhead light. I'll admit, it's cozy.

She was a little concerned about it matching the rest of her room, though. She has Apple Blossom Faeries Wallies on the walls, and the bed & dresser have delicate flowers painted on them, so all the pink works together. Hello Kitty isn't my favorite, but she really likes it. Jeff & I both assured her that that's all that matters and that no one would think it looked silly. Sarah is frequently concerned with what other people think of her. :/

I'm back.

I've got my mindset back, and it feels pretty good.

I'm going to eat food I like. I was thinking about what to have for lunch, and I remembered my beloved Cold Sesame Noodles. I haven't had CSN in ages, even though it's one of my favorite dishes. Why is that? Why would I eat crap that I don't even like that well?

I'm going to remember that the "I'm hungry" feeling is ok, and does NOT need to be immediately satisfied until I get to the "I'm so full I might puke" feeling.

I'm going to exercise. I remember that great feeling after getting off the treadmill, that triumphant elation. As it gets warmer, I'm going to return to my post-dinner walks that left me feeling so refreshed.

I'm going to have occasional treats (a Godiva truffle has three points), but journal them and exercise portion control.

I am taking my life back.

Now I feel kinda stupid

If I'm going to be sewing, I really should learn the difference between rib knit and interlock, lightweight t-shirt knit. I went over to Hancock's (the roads in our neighborhood were crappy, but the main ones were tolerable) and discovered that what I have is just fine. It's cut out, I have a ball point needle in the machine, and as soon as the kids are done with lunch, I'm going to get this thing finished.

Someone's Trying to Tell Me Something (a pity party)

I'm starting to think that coming up with creative, unique, home made gifts is stupid. Just go to the mall and get the same old thing.

Exhibit A: gift baskets with pottery made by my SIL. Chili & cornbread with bowls, pancake mix & syrup with small pitchers, cocoa mix with mugs. I was going to pick up the pottery Monday, but when I called to check, SIL told me that her kiln had broken, and she'd just gotten the element replaced two days earlier. Also, everything she'd stored on their porch had frozen instead of drying. "Ok, so worst comes to worst, I'll get them from you on Friday at Dad's house; I'm not giving out those gifts until Saturday." The problem is that the pitchers & mugs might not be done even then, because the handles need a long time to dry or they'll break off. So today I got a couple creamers from Target. They're cute, but not the direction I was looking for. I have the reciept (somewhere) so I can return them if she does get the pitchers done.

Exhibit B: we were going to get a fishing rod for Jeff's dad. Trying to get information from him (about what kind he would need) under the pretense of getting a fishing rod for MY dad was useless. Geez, read between the lines! Figure it out! So I went to Penny's and got him a pair of Dockers and a polo shirt.

Exhibit C: Jeff's mom wanted pajamas. Instead of buying, I decided to make some and bought some cute flannel for the pants and knit for the top. Tonight, I finished the pants and as I was getting ready to cut out the top, I realized it's not knit. It's rib knit, which I don't think I can use for this. I might be wrong. I hope I'm wrong. I don't want to have to go out tomorrow in the snow and either buy more fabric or just buy some freaking pajamas.

Exhibit D: I just got back from the grocery store. One of the things I really needed was more pecans so I could make more tarts and more of the Poor Man's Turtles for everyone's goodie bags. No pecans in the whole damn store.

Next year, I'm giving gift cards to everyone.

We Three Things

Three names you go by: Mom, Kim, Momma Bunny
Three screennames you have: Ko_Jac, Kimmer, Dory
Three things you like about yourself: sense of humor, creativity, kindness
Three things you hate/dislike about yourself: procrastination, (um, I'll come back to this one . . .)
Three parts of your heritage: German, Croatian, Irish
Three things that scare you: something happening to my kids, bees/wasps, the thought of not getting back to a healthy lifestyle
Three of your everyday essentials: the internet, hugs & cuddles, water
Three things you are wearing right now: pajama pants, t-shirt, bandana to keep my hair back (pretty much my "uniform" lately)
Three of your favorite bands/artists at the moment: Sting, Sting, Sting
Three of your favorite songs at present: Bare Naked Ladies - God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
Three things you want to try in the next 12 months: quilting, landscaping, staying organized
Three things you want in a relationship (love is a given): trust, fun, laughter
Two truths and a lie: I speak fluent German; I lived in Switzerland as a student; My mom is a Canadian citizen.
Three physical things about the opposite (or same) sex that appeals to you: eyes, hands, butt
Three things you just can't do: sing, paint/draw, garden (working on it this year)
Three of your favorite hobbies: digital scrapbooking, regular scrapbooking, sewing
Three things you want to do really badly right now: be finished with Christmas stuff (that's big enough to count as all three)
Three careers you're considering: teaching
Three places you want to go on vacation: western USA, Germany/Switzerland/Italy, Ireland
Three kids names: Cole, Drew, Colleen
Three things you want to do before you die: get to and stay at a healthy weight, go back to Europe, see my kids grow up
Three people who have to take this quiz now or die a slow orgasmic death: Paula, DangerMouse, Amy

We're not alone!

http://www.skinnydaily.com/ is one of the blogs I like to check out on a regular basis. I like her approach, and today reminded me why. She's also slacking (though not to the extent that I am) during the holidays, and planning on getting back on the wagon next week. It is a good plan, and I'm so glad I've got a big support group planning to do this with me!

I have a new favorite word:

Bugger.

I used it quite a bit today while I was out shopping. Happily, I only used it regarding the -8 degree wind chill factor, not my fellow shoppers. The lines all moved well (except at the dollar store, but I was so happy to find boas and tiaras that I didn't care), and I got the pleated, cuffed Dockers pants FIL wants on sale. I'm pretty much done shopping, though I still need to do a lot of sewing, some baking, and go pick up the bowls, cups & pitchers from Michela.

Mint Dipped Oreos

So easy to make, and hugely popular.

• Oreos
• Chocolate (about a pound will cover about four dozen cookies)
• Peppermint oil (I got a tiny vial at a candy making store, and it's lasted for a few years. I don't think it's the same stuff as peppermint extract.)

Melt the chocolate. You can use the microwave if you're careful, or a double boiler, but I like using my small crockpot. Add a SMALL amount of peppermint oil. You do not need very much. For the last batch I did, I used about a pound of chocolate and maybe a quarter teaspoon peppermint, and I think they were just right. Maybe a tiny bit more, but only at your own risk.

I worked with a woman who tried making these once, and didn't get the concept of "a SMALL amount." She said that they smelled so strongly of peppermint that you could have used them for air fresheners, and she had to take the garbage bag out to the garage immediately.

Put an oreo into the melted chocolate, flip it over to coat thoroughly, then fish it out with a fork or other implement. I have a two-pronged plastic utensil that works very well, also bought at the candy making store. Tap the fork against the edge of the crockpot to get the extra chocolate off the cookie, then slide the cookie onto a cookie sheet or other flat area that's been covered with plastic wrap, tin foil, wax paper, etc. This is the most time consuming and painstaking part. You want to get off as much chocolate as you can so it doesn't all drip down on to the pan and pool unattractively. But it never fails that at least once while I'm tapping off the extra, the cookie will fall back into the chocolate. Cursing ensues, and I start over.

Also, only do one cookie at a time. Don't try to get ahead of the game by putting a few in the chocolate at once, because by the time you fish them out, they'll get mushy or break or do something else equally unattractive.

Once they're done and cool, you can drizzle to top with white chocolate, but that's just for looks.

Make LOTS, because you and everyone you know won't be able to stop eating them!

snore . . .

Maybe I should start going to bed before midnight. Ya think? I am so freaking tired it's obscene.
Today I made a Spiderman cape and two dressup skirts. I would have made the taggie blankie for my nephew, but I can't find the bleepingly adorable kiddie ribbon I know I have in the basement. I also know that the minute I truly give up and make the blankie, said ribbon will appear to taunt me. I also won an Ebay auction on a book for my brother. I hope it gets here in time!

I still have lots more dressup clothes to make and lots more baking to do. It wouldn't be quite so much baking, except that I've been eating cookies at a pretty regular rate. December 28 - that's when I'm going to start back on the WW bandwagon. Isn't that sad? I have a date when I plan to start taking care of myself again, but until then I have "too much to do." My priorities are seriously screwed up.

Tonight is Sarah's story night at the library. I would have Jeff take her, but if I go, I can doze while she's in there. If I stay home, I get Lauren, who still has a runny nose. I thought she was done with it, but it's back again this morning. No other symptoms, for which I'm most greatful.

• Tomorrow: Make my mint-dipped Oreos, do some more sewing. Go to work after Jeff gets home, get my hair cut after that.
• Friday: Drive Jeff to work and go grocery shopping during the day. After we pick him up, go to my sister's house for pizza & presents with the cousins.
• Weekend: Go to my friend's house to embroider/applique a quillow for my Dad with her machine, hit the post office, and buy a gift for Jeff's dad & my sister in law.
• Monday: Drive Jeff to work, go to Lauren's story time, then out to pick up the pottery stuff I had my SIL make. After we pick Jeff up from work, we're meeting a friend for dinner at Chili's. Yay, one less meal for me to cook. I think all the money we're saving from me being so crafty and making gifts is getting spent on meals out. No, that's not true; we'd meet this friend for dinner anyway.

I'm off to make some pecan tarts and work on Sarah's printing with her.

It's beginning to look a lot like . . .

you know what. Here's the tree, as decorated by Sarah & Lauren. They put up all the ornaments by themselves, and I love that the top half of the tree is naked. I might put up some other, more fragile ornaments up there myself, but I doubt it. I like this look, and Lauren's already been fooling with what's on the tree, so I don't feel like tempting fate.

Apple Cake

Sarah and Lauren and I made this today, based on my Grandma's recipe. I changed a couple things (a bit less sugar, traded half the oil for applesauce, mixed wet ingredients first then added dry, instead of just throwing it all in a bowl), and I really liked it. Not too sweet, nice texture.

So here's my version of Lucille's Apple Cake.

1½ cups sugar (ohh, I just thought - I'm going to use some brown sugar next time, instead of all white)
½ cup vegetable oil
½ cup applesauce, preferably unsweetened
1 tsp. vanilla extract
3 eggs
2 cups flour
½ tsp. salt
½ tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. cinnamon
4 or 5 large apples, sliced (I didn't bother peeling them, and cut them into big chunks)
½ cup chopped nuts (optional)

Mix sugar, oil, applesauce, and vanilla. Mix in eggs (Sarah and Lauren each got to crack an egg, and did pretty well - Lauren was very enthusiastic!). Mix in flour, soda, salt, and cinnamon. Mix in apples and nuts. Spray a 9x13" pan with Pam, then pour in the batter and bake at 325 degrees for 45 - 50 minutes. Let cool, then cut into squares.

I might have to make like Nigella Lawson, and go raid the fridge for another piece!

Bitchery for Fun and Profit

Today was my big excursion to Sam's for Christmas baking supplies as well as a few other regular things that are somewhat cheaper than at the other grocery stores I frequent. I haven't been to Sam's much lately, having overcome my antipathy toward the Meijer that is closest to me, where they have pretty decent sales. Sam's is still maginally better on a lot of things, though, so it's been worth it to me to make an occasional trip.

As we were walking in, I realized that it had been quite a while since we'd been there, and I wasn't sure if my account was still current. So I stopped at the closest checker and asked her if I could still use my card. She checked it and discovered that my account expired today. "Can I still use it?" She said she thought so, but that she'd double check. When she came back, she said it would be fine. OK, thanks.

Shop, shop, shop. Pecans and almonds and juice and graham crackers and butter and cream cheese and bratwurst and sponges and quart sized zip loc bags, and and and.

When we got to the checkout (Lane 8), I gave the checker my card, and she said it expired today. "No, it's fine" I said confidently. "I asked another checker, and it's ok for today." She got the manager, who said that it was expired today and I would have to renew if I wanted to use it. "No, I already checked on this. I wouldn't go spend an hour shopping if I wasn't sure about the card. I asked another checker, who asked a manager, and it was cleared." "Which checker was it?" "I don't remember exactly - shorter girl, maybe on Lane 2?"

The manager went off, and when she came back 5 or 10 minutes later, told me that the card expired at 12:01 today. "So you're not going to honor what your employee told me earlier?" "Maybe if you could find her . . ." "Allrighty then, I'll see what I can do."

So I took the girls and my empty cart and walked down the lanes. Lo and behold, at Lane 2, is the girl I talked to. She remembered me, and when I told her the situation, she said, "Get your stuff and bring it down here; I have the authorization, so we'll do it." I wasn't too keen on moving all my crap and standing in another line, but figured this was the easiest way to go.

Which turned out to be a good thing, because as I was loading up, I noticed the package of brats had a tear in the plastic. Back to the meat department for them, and I got some new ones. As I was walking back to the checkout lanes, I saw the Lane 8 girl motion me over and say that she could check me out.

So after all that, I spent $111 (about what I'd planned on, but less than I thought it would be when I surveyed my cart). Will I spend the $35 to renew my membership? Probably not. I don't know that I go there often enough to make the membership worth it to me. If they had a $10 "twice a year" membership, I'd probably jump on that.

I have to say, Sarah and Lauren did so well for their ages, in spite of it being after noon by the time we got out of there, well past lunch. Sarah didn't complain once, and if Lauren kept grabbing at the bread, that's pretty minor for someone not yet three. Also, she desperately wanted a balloon, and nicely asked several times if she could have one. The answer was no every time (the balloons were on a display, so I couldn't have gotten her one if I'd wanted to), but she was fine with it. She's recently entered the "fake crying and screaming if I don't get my way" phase here at home, so I was really glad she didn't pull that at the store.

Anyone who read my mini-novel here gets cookies!

Whoever invented Nyquil . . .

deserves a big fat kiss. I'm looking forward to going to bed tonight as soon as I chug down a big capful of that nasty stuff.

On a positive note, I got some good shopping done, including a very cool picture frame for our Christmas pictures. I promised Jeff I'd get all the frames ready to go this weekend, no more procrastinating.

Just Christmas

I forgot that you have to sign up to see the album at Ofoto.com, which is kind of a pain. So here are the four Christmas pictures we had taken, plus the embellishments I've added. They're also rotating through my sig, so you've probably seen them before.

The only thing I don't like about these is that the dresses came out a little dark. My own fault for getting navy blue & hunter green, huh?