Obsession

I realized that in regards to eating/exercise/my health in general, I have two speeds: Obsession, and To Hell With It All.

I know that "obsession" is not a healthy, balanced attitude. But I've realized that unless I spend a good part of my day thinking about what I'm going to eat, when I'm going to exercise, how I want to look in two months or five months or whatever, I spend that time compulsively eating. Maybe I need a new term. It's not "obsession," it's just "thinking about what I'm doing." Yeah, thinking about it pretty much non stop. Still sounds like obsession, doesn't it?

I used to believe that I could relax a little and stay on top of things without it being a major part of my life. That's not true. I need to devote a lot of energy, a lot of my attention, to this.

As Requested:
Cold Sesame Noodles (single serving)
Mix 1 Tablespoon peanut butter, 1 teaspoon sesame oil, 1 Tablespoon soy sauce, and 1 clove of garlic, pressed. I add a few shakes of red pepper flakes and a tiny bit of powdered ginger. You can add some rice wine vinegar, too - about a Tablespoon. Then I add my cooked pasta (I use 2 oz uncooked spaghetti) and vegetables. I blanch some broccoli by throwing it in with the pasta for the last couple minutes of cooking, and I dice some red or yellow peppers and throw them in raw. You can use a little more peanut butter, and if the sauce is too thick, mix in a little water at a time. Soooooo good.