I'm essentially back to the weight I was when I got married. It's also the same weight I was when I last got serious about my health last time (about seven years ago). So now I have this vaguely superstitious fear that I won't be able to get past this point. That I'll just up and quit. AGAIN. That I'll stop caring. That I'll go back to those old bad habits.
I've had occasional binge days in the past, and for the most part, I've come to accept them and know that I can move past them. But now I have this horrible dread that I can't or won't get past the point of eatting myself into oblivion.
Oblivion sounds good right now--there's a lot of stress going on, and there's no sign of it letting up. Last week, I was going to write a blog post called, "It Never Gets Better," but I decided that sounded too depressing and that I should have more of a zen-like "It's Always Something" attitude instead.
So what am I doing about it? Right now, I feel like all I can do is keep a really tight rein on my eating. I don't think that's a really healthy attitude either, but at least it isn't unremitting binging.
I've had occasional binge days in the past, and for the most part, I've come to accept them and know that I can move past them. But now I have this horrible dread that I can't or won't get past the point of eatting myself into oblivion.
Oblivion sounds good right now--there's a lot of stress going on, and there's no sign of it letting up. Last week, I was going to write a blog post called, "It Never Gets Better," but I decided that sounded too depressing and that I should have more of a zen-like "It's Always Something" attitude instead.
So what am I doing about it? Right now, I feel like all I can do is keep a really tight rein on my eating. I don't think that's a really healthy attitude either, but at least it isn't unremitting binging.
2 comments:
You will or you won't. I'm sure you will figure it out. I'm working on getting healthier, and trying to lose weight at the same time. I would love to get back to my pre-babies weight.
It seems like you've worked hard and really made a change in your way of eating and lifestyle. I think you can keep it up!
It sure would be disheartening to have the injuries you've gone through, etc, but I think your good health will be a huge help in getting past them and feeling better faster!
I'm rooting for you.
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