What am I thinking?

Last week, I decided that working the two days at the school was taking too much out of me, and negatively affecting our school work. So I decided to quit. I didn't like it; I don't want to quit because something is hard. Also, I made a commitment, and they are counting on me. In spite of that, once I made the decision, I actually felt lighter. I felt so happy, it surprised me. But I also felt like that was an indicator that I'd made the right decision.

Yesterday morning, I called to see if the morning class was available, which she thought it was (my regular contact is on vacation and I talked to the woman covering for her). She had it listed as a Tuesday/Thursday class, which I'd originally said I couldn't do, because of our co-op. She said she'd see if they were willing to switch days, and I told her that if they weren't, I'd work it out for T/Th (there are only two more regular co-op days, and I could get a friend to drive the kids, then meet them up there a little late).

So. Then I started thinking. This is where the trouble started, of course.

"If I took this new morning class on T/Th, I could stay on at the school. Wow, that would take me up to 23 hours a week once the other night class starts. More if my ESL student can meet. That's nuts. But I don't want to leave the school in the lurch, and it's only two more months. And those classes really take a lot out of me. But it would be steady work again in the fall, when my other classes usually dry up." On and on, ad infinitum.

So here's what I've decided. I'm going to call the principal and tell him that I can't continue as before. I need at least a little more money, and I need the schedule to change. I appreciate that I'm getting paid for prep time, but I need those hours at home. The ball will be in his court, and I'll feel better about it. If I do continue there, the next two months would be really hard, but I'd get through it.