It Never Fails

When I go out shopping with little or no money, I find so many things I want. When I go out with money burning a hole in my pocket, I find nothing. This is doubly so if I'm shopping for myself.

I was going to make these dresses for the girls for Christmas, until I realized that the skirts are taffeta, which is dry clean only.

So even though I love the pattern, it's not going to happen (a bonus is that I don't have to make piping, which I have a feeling would be a pain). I'm frustrated that there aren't more moderately fancy winter dress patterns out there.

For now, I'm making the dresses for which I already have patterns and fabric, and looking for holiday sweaters. For Christmas, I might use the same pattern I did last year, but different fabric and no collar. I don't know yet, but I'm a little frustrated.

Happily, I found out that My Photographer now gets your pictures back to you the same day, instead of having to wait three weeks! I was so happy about that, but I was a little overwhelmed to realize that I have almost a month to find something for the kids to wear, instead of barely two weeks!

Kinda Tired

When I got home from grocery shopping this morning, all set to make Calico Beans for the church potluck and Pecan Tartlets for the Baking Contest (because I didn't have time to make my Torte, even though I think it's more impressive), and Jeff mentioned that Sarah had fallen a little earlier, and hit her head.

We didn't think anything of it until she started throwing up. Eventually she and I made it to the ER and she got a CT scan (was terrified at the thought of an X-ray) and was pronounced ok. At home, Jeff made the beans, which came out yummy as always. The tartlets never got started - oh well! - and Sarah is asleep right now. I think I might go take a nap, too.

Spoke too soon

Remember this? Yeah, well. Not so much.

As it turns out, my mom does have some variety of inflammatory breast cancer. She meets with the oncologist next Wednesday (which infuriates me that she didn't see him/her the same damn day, but has to wait a fucking week), and they'll give her the course of action, but a double mastectomy is a given. Before they can do that, though, she has to have chemo to reduce the size of her breasts, so that they have enough skin left to cover things up. They also have to see if it's metastasized.

I've spent a lot of the past day and a half swearing and crying. My mom, however, is in very good spirits. She is very comfortable leaving it up to God (though of course she's getting treatment), and has joked about finally being able to wear cute little bras, and getting a blue & yellow striped mohawk wig. She feels that she's going to come through fine. I should mention that she's been cancer free for over nine years.

I'm also incredibly pissed off and frustrated at my brother, who has apparently dropped off the face of the earth. He doesn't really have a relationship with my mom, and she's said that I shouldn't feel obligated to tell him about this, but it's making me even crazier that I can't get ahold of him.

Picture of the day

I'm running to get ready for work this morning, but couldn't resist putting up this picture from yesterday. Feel free to suggest a caption!

Extravagant

I went in to get my hair cut & colored yesterday morning. I had to miss my last haircut, so I just skipped it altogether. "Mistake. Big mistake. Huge." (a cookie for the first person to get that quote)

Also, I think I've been watching too much What Not to Wear, because I got a sudden urge for color. I've had blonde highlights before, but I've also been auburn, which looks nice, and highlights cost too dang much.

I got there about 10 minutes late (I hate having to get cash for the tip - I live for the debit card!), and since there was another woman coming in, two other people than my regular stylist put the goop on my hair. As long as Danielle (regular stylist for 8 1/2 years now) gave them the color formula, I didn't care who put it on me.

As for that color, I wanted a change, but nothing too drastic, so we went with a red/brown mix. Sadly, I realized that I couldn't get my hair to Lauren's color without serious work.

After they get it all on my hair (with a pause to mix some more, because nobody ever seems to get just how much hair I have), they washed it and I sat with some magazines to try to figure out a cut. When my hair gets too long and unruly, I get utterly sick of it and say, "Shave it all off for all I care. Just fix it so it doesn't drive me crazy anymore." Eventually, I came up with two choices. A longer cut, still down to around my shoulders, that flips up on the ends (it took me a long time to deal with the flippiness of my hair, though it is considered stylish now), or a considerably shorter 'do. I've had very short hair before, and like it, but longer hair gives me more options, and is easier to deal with, except for time involved in getting it dry. Besides, I can always go shorter later if I feel like it.

Cut, cut, cut. Haul out the hairdryer. "How does the color look?" "It's great, very rich looking." Once it's all done, I look at it. Huh. It looks almost the same color as it was when I walked in. We go outside to get some natural light. There, I can see the red undertones, but really, it still just looks brown. "You know, I was really looking for the red to 'pop' a little more." Thinking: I'm not spending $$ for color to not see any difference!

We head back in, and Danielle decides to use a demi permanent color, true red, the most intense demi color they have. She tells me that my hair just didn't pick up the red before, so we're not going to mess around. They mix this up, and the same two people apply it, again needing to mix more. What, you guys didn't learn earlier?

After they wash it out, again with the blowdryer. This time, I can tell it's red, but it's a pretty dark red. I like it. After four hours (I'm so glad Grammy came over to babysit instead of someone I had to pay!), I was done.

Later, Jeff & I were talking about the charm (a gingerbread cookie) I want for my bracelet . It's pricey (almost $100), and I said, "Maybe that should be a Christmas present instead of a birthday present. My hair can be my birthday present!" He looked suprised. "How much was your hair?" "Heh, more than the charm." He was suprised, so I broke it down. $30 for the cut, $50 for the color, and $13 each for a bottle of shampoo & conditioner, $20 for the tip. The product is the truly extravagant part, I think. I generally go for the cheapest stuff around, and it doesn't make a bit of difference to my hair. But when chemicals are involved, I splurge a little and go for the good stuff. But still, eeek at that much for two bottles! So I spent more than a week's worth of groceries in a few hours, just on myself! That's an odd feeling - I'm generally very frugal.

Making Lemonade

The bright spots of the cancellation of the class I was supposed to start today:

• Since the class I'm getting instead will only be two days a week, I won't have to pay for any babysitting.
• Since I can pick up an extra class over two Saturdays, I won't be losing much money (the total is almost the same amount, just over five weeks instead of three).
• On the days I do work, I'll be home by 1:30 instead of 4:30, so it'll be lots easier to do schoolwork and whatever else is going on around here.

Cross your fingers

Overheard yesterday at my house:
Mom: There's a hockey game tonight - do you guys want to go?
Sarah & Lauren (jumping in the air): Yeah! Hockey!
Mom: OK, Lauren, if you want to go, you have to poop on the potty first.
Lauren: (runs to bathroom)

Eventually, a few hours later, after multiple potty breaks and a few false positive reports, we had results! Yes! So this morning, Lauren got to watch TV after breakfast and will get to sing with the choir at church. And last night, she got to cheer at the hockey game (minor league) and eat popcorn and a hot dog--the real reason for her excitement, I think.

The whole night, we kept telling her that now she could use the potty all the time and wouldn't go in her pants anymore, because she's such a big girl. Oh, how I hope . . .

I knew it was coming

I knew 80's fashion would eventually reappear. Cringe. I mean, I really bring the whole big hair look, but I'm not looking forward to shiny fabric and linebacker shoulder pads.

(seen at http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/)

The Plan

The plan for today:

Call work and get the mistake with my check worked out. Part of it is my fault for not checking the contracts more closely before I signed them. If they don't want me to cash this check and make up the difference, but wait for a new one, I will sweetly offer to go and pick up a new check TODAY. No, I don't want to wait for three days, thanks.

Work on Lauren's Halloween costume. That is, start Lauren's Halloween costume.

Continue to look for the mask to Sarah's costume, which I found out was lost on Friday. I'm still pissed off about that.

Read The Strong Willed Child. Lauren's potty training is still not moving forward; to make a crude and obvious pun, she just doesn't give a shit. Even though I've told her that only big girls get to sing in the choir at church and have sleepovers, and she wants those things, she obviously doesn't want them enough. Last night, I started "only big girls get desserts." If I don't see some progress soon, I'm going to be ready for "only big girls get to watch TV." Jeff suggested that one a while ago, but I thought it too severe. HA!

Scale Mount Laundry, and try to get it down to a foothill.

Wow, that was a good movie

Crash.

See it.

One of the user comments on the www.imdb.com site reads, "in one absolutely brilliant moment I was literally sobbing at the expectation of horror unfolding, only to be cathartically released in a most unexpected way." That is exactly the way I felt.

And I can't say any more, because I have to get ready for work tomorrow, which includes getting everything ready for the babysitter.

World's Shortest Personality Test

Your Personality Profile

You are dependable, popular, and observant. Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness. In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do. You are unique, creative, and expressive. You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while. And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Color Blind, or Just Blind?

When Kanye West said, "George Bush doesn't care about black people," I agreed, but thought it would have been more accurate to say, "George Bush doesn't care about poor people."

I feel fairly certain that our president is just as happy to take money from black people as from white, and to advance their interests, as long as those interests coincide with those of other wealthy people. It's about money, not race.

But. That's what most white people think. Most black people disagree. Why is this?

There's talk of putting a WalMart Super Center fairly near the current Wal Mart in our area, on the site of a deserted mall in Livonia. I knew people were up in arms about it, because Wal Mart is notorious for killing surrounding small businesses. Maybe people don't like it, I thought, but something there is better than a big empty nothing.

I couldn't believe it this morning when I read an article in the local paper that said, "Bypassing the common practice of using code words or euphemisms when speaking critically of African Americans, some white residents expressed fears about people from mostly black Detroit coming to mostly white Livonia to shop and work, and suggested that Livonia would become a ghetto."

HUH? Where did that come from? And how is it that I keep forgetting that so many people feel this way? When I hear about local hate crimes, I feel sad, but know that it's the work of lone hateful idiots. Normal, rational people don't feel this way, right?

During the first mayoral debate, standing mayor Kwame Kilpatrick said, "In Birmingham, in Bloomfield Hills and all these places they do more meth, they do more ecstasy and they do more acid than all the schools in the city of Detroit put together." No one disputes that drugs are everywhere, but the comment was unsubstantiated and looked like he was trying to shift blame. (For the record, I am not a fan of Kwame Kilpatrick, and I hope Freeman Hendricks kicks his ass in the election.)

Still, some people aprove of his remarks and feel that he stands up for them. I think there are some who think that Freeman Hendricks is a puppet of the suburbs.

Another controversy is that Grosse Pointe school districts have recently required its students to reregister in order to prove they live within district boundaries. I understand that many feel this is a "keep the blacks out" move, but I see it as a sincere attempt to relieve overcrowding. My aunt used to use my grandmother's GP Woods address so that her daughter could go to a Grosse Pointe school. It bugged me then. If I'm paying higher taxes so my kid can go to a better school, I don't want 5 extra kids in the class from families who aren't contributing, and that includes white kids from St. Clair Shores as well as black kids from Harper Woods.

Several years ago in college, one of my friends posed the hypothetical question, "If you were walking down the street, and saw a black man walking toward you, would you cross the street?" I told her that I was too shallow to deal with skin color, and would probably look at what they were wearing first. "If I saw a bunch of rowdy white guys with tattoos & motorcycle gear on one side, and one black guy wearing a sweatshirt and carrying a backpack, I'd probably stick to the side with the black guy."

Maybe I just don't get it. I grew up in white bread Grosse Pointe (though I did go to school in Detroit for kindergarten & 1st grade). I graduated high school in ultra white bread Idaho. I currently live in a multi-racial neighborhood, but most of our immediate neighbors are white. Sarah had a couple black girls in her dance class over the summer, but I can't remember if any of them are in her current class. A few of our neighbors are elderly, and I'm curious about what kind of new neighbors we'll get when they move. I'm more concerned about "will they have kids the same age as my kids" than "will they be black or Middle Eastern or whatever."

Confession: one time, I told one of my friends that over the summer, she'd gotten brown as a "nigger." I still can't believe I said that, but I wanted to see what kind of reaction I'd get. Neither of my friends said anything about it, then or ever, though I saw them exchange a shocked look. That's a hard (embarassing, shameful) confession to make, and it's hard for me not to delete this paragraph.

There's no real point to this entry. I just don't understand why this is still an issue. I know that it's natural to see similarities and differences when you first meet people, and to try to categorize them, but doing that is getting in the way of living and prospering. Sadly, I don't see things turning around on a large scale. At this point, I don't think my kids notice skin color. I hope I can keep it that way.

Thanks, Everyone!

I talked to my mom a few minutes ago, and while her problem is not mastitis, neither is it inflammatory breast cancer. The docs that she spoke with feel that it is a long term side effect of the radiation treatment she recieved a few years ago. They'll follow up with a mammogram, but everything looks ok.

I really appreciate all the good wishes from everyone - it helped a lot.

Calendar Juggling

I'm teaching a day class next week and the week after that. I took it because, even though it's all day, every day (except the first Friday), it's very good money and only two weeks. I even thought, "Heck, maybe I'll do these once in a while as a semi-regular thing."

Then I looked at the calendar.

All my evening classes are getting pushed back by two weeks, because there's no way I'm teaching all day, coming home, and leaving again to teach at night. This works out for the best, though, because now they have time to get the word out to more people, and we should have a better turnout for those evening classes when they do start.

Lauren's dance classes will be ending right about the time I get home. I think on the first week, I'll be able to cut out an hour early, which will get me home in time. The second week, either my Dad will take her (I hope he can come over those days); we'll switch to the other day and Grammy can take her; or she'll miss it.

Story time is in the mornings, but I could switch her to a different day in the evenings. She could just miss it, but she really likes it.

Add to this the babysitter issues, critical meal planning and school planning that I'll need to do, and this "Working Mom" stuff is for the birds. I briefly thought about taking the next full time class as well, but I think I'll pass. I do hope they can get the Monday/Wednesday classes rolling, because two days a week is a very happy medium.

Today, I have a dentist appointment, I have to call the ped for Lauren, who sounds like a frog right now, I need to call my Dad back, I have a class tonight, and my mom is going to see a doc this morning.

I'm off to update my Outlook calendar!

Yeah, that was fun

Yesterday, a guy came to our front door saying that he'd been in the neighborhood trimming trees, and wanted to know if we wanted the dead one in the back taken down. "Sure, come give us an estimate." He suggested $400, which was about what I'd heard before. If not for the brakes on the car a while back, it would have been a done deal. He offered $200 to take off the big branches, leaving just the trunk. OK, that's not too bad, and then the major hazard will be gone, and we can get rid of the trunk next year.

So he's up in the tree like a squirrel, lopping off branches. Sure enough, one fell on the power lines, and ZAP! ripped it right out of the power pole behind the house. Jeff had asked him if was insured, and he said he was, but! - he didn't have his card with him. As we were getting information, it turns out he didn't have a driver's license, either. As I'm fuming that I don't want to give him a thin dime, Jeff wrote him a $75 check and said good bye. I couldn't even talk to him - I was afraid of what I might say.

I called Edison, and they said someone would be out "between now and 2." Alrighty! We borrowed our neighbor's generator, Jeff stayed home from his Bible study, and we kind of winged it for the rest of the night. Sarah got to break in her Incredibles flashlight a little earlier than planned, though. After the girls were in bed, Jeff & I watched Suspect Zero on his laptop, plugged in to the extension cord. He went to bed, but I stayed up reading/dozing on the couch to see when the guys got here.

They didn't come. I called Edison at 8, and they had no ETA for the repairmen, but "a crew has been assigned, so they should be on their way, if they're not there now."

At noon, I called Edison back. "Did they get lost?" The lady I talked to was very nice, and I realized that they thought we needed tree trimming first. Nooooo, that's what got us into this problem in the first place! The tree is absolutely not the issue! About 20 minutes after that, the tree trimmer guy showed up. Too bad they can't contact these guys, huh? He ripped some vines off the power pole, then left.

FINALLY, at about quarter after four, the Edison truck showed up. We have power again, and I can get my computer fix.

On the bright side, the guy didn't fall out of the tree and break his neck. He didn't drop a log through the roof of the garage. The wire came out of the pole, not the house, so it wasn't hot. We didn't get charged for the Edison call. (I still have to call the phone company, because that wire is sagging in a big way.)

We have an agreement to find (or make!) a No Soliciting Sign ASAP.

Frustrated

Although my mom tells me that my frustration energy would be better put toward prayers, I'm still pissed off on her behalf.

She's been jumping through hoops to get in to see a doc, and hasn't gotten anywhere. She's had financial appointments (yes, plural), only to discover that their income is too high by $1oo/week to qualify. So next she's calling the Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, and will hopefully get an appointment there soon.

The issue? One of her breasts is red, painful and swollen. At this point, the most likely culprits are a) mastitis (due to previous radiation therapy) or b) inflammatory breast cancer. Luckily, mastitis is MUCH more likely, because inflammatory breast cancer is some nasty shit. Of course, if it isn't mastitis, and she needs chemotherapy, etc., these few weeks could make a very large difference.

She's been taking colloidal silver (a natural antibiotic) for a while, and the redness & swelling have diminished, which is good news, but the only way to rule out cancer is a) a fine needle biopsy, b) a regular surgical biopsy, c) an ultrasound, or d) an MRI.

So I'm pissed at the health care system (she was actually suprised at how "insurance-driven" it all is) and concerned, but hoping for the best.

PORK TENDERLOIN WITH BALSAMIC-CRANBERRY SAUCE

For the original recipe, which involved roasting a pork tenderloin inthe oven: http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/recipe_views/views/100314?id=100314&kw=&action=filtersearch&QueryZip=%28%28cranberry%29+%3CIN%3E+%28CNContent%2Ctitle%29%29&Filter=recipe%2Dfilter%2Ehts&ResultTemplate=recipe%2Dresults%2Ehts&QueryText=%28%28cranberry%29+%3CIN%3E+%28CNContent%2Ctitle%29%29&Collection=Recipes&ResultStart=151&ResultCount=15&BrowseLink=%3CA+HREF%3D%22%22%3EQuick+Search%3C%2FA%3E+%26gt%3B+keyword%3A+cranberry

PORK TENDERLOIN MEDALLIONS WITH BALSAMIC-CRANBERRY SAUCE

salt & pepper
1 8- to 10-ounce pork tenderloin
1 ½ Tablespoons butter
½ cup chopped onion
1 Tablespoon chopped fresh rosemary
½ cup canned low-salt chicken broth
1/3 cup canned whole berry cranberry sauce
1 Tablespoon balsamic vinegar

Slice pork into 1 inch wide medallions. Season with salt & pepper. Saute pork in a large frying pan. Don't over cook - the meat should still have some resiliency when you push on it. Remove from pan to a plate, and cover with tin foil.

Melt butter in the same pan, and scrape up any bits that are stuck to the bottom. Saute the onion & rosemary until the onion is soft & translucent. Add the broth, cranberry sauce, and balsamic vinegar and whisk until the cranberry sauce is melted. Add any juice from the pork chops to the sauce. Boil the sauce until it has reduced enough to coat a spoon (according to the original recipe, about six minutes).

These amounts are supposed to serve two, so I always double it, and the sauce takes considerably longer to reduce. Of course, I also use vegetable broth instead of chicken. If I'm feeling ambitious, I'll make spaetzle to go with it, but noodles would be just fine. It's very tasty - I really like many pork/fruit combinations - and very impressive.

But of course!

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Proud of herself

We took the training wheels off Sarah's bike yesterday, and she was off! It only took about 15 minutes for her to get the hang of balancing and steering, as long as Jeff gave her a push to get started. Getting herself started was another story--she kept braking--and led to a lot of frustration, so we'll go back to it another day, after more practice.

Funny how things work out

So, we had to pay big bucks for getting the brakes fixed on the car. And our summer taxes (which were raised by a few hunderd dolalrs) are due shortly. And we're planning on having the lawn ripped out and sod put in at the end of the month.

So, our finances are a little tighter right now than we'd like them to be. We're not going to cancel our cable modem or DVR or Blockbuster subscriptions, but the wooden swingset has been put on hold, and we're skipping the baseball game Monday.

So, I called the landscape guy this afternoon, to see if we could do hydroseed instead of sod. He said that would be no problem, but that it would still be about $1800, because he'll still have to rip out the old lawn, and the roots, and such. Well, $1800 is a WHOLE lot better than $3000, so we jumped on it, though we won't have InstaLawn.

So, by incurring these extra expenses, we ended up saving money. We thought about going to the ritziest restaurant we could find to celebrate, but decided not to. ;D